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*issblackeyeliner
writes:Me and my boyfriend have just started seeing each other. He is 22 and and I am 16. My dad says that anything bigger than a five year age difference is too big and illegal until I turn 18. I was wondering if anyone had any advice for me, or was more clued up on the laws regarding relationships over the age of consent in the UK...regards,miss black eyeliner Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2008): Ignore all the puritannical wisdom so far posted; do what you think is right, when you think it is right. look deep inside yourself-all the resources you need for love are there; trust me. if he has an ounce of emotional depth he will find love inside himself too. after that the rest is simple. Just ignore views that are too moralistic-like the ones above.If you ask some of the respondents above 'why?' they advise you as they do, i suspect you'll eventually get to their version of right and wrong.and within the bounds of legally defined limits, right and wrong should only ever come from within.trust yourself.x
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): your dad is a wise man...
but.. if you are over 16 then you are legallly allowed to consent and so the case will not stand!
This law is a weak one and no police officer will ever act on it as long as you have the capacity to consent!
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female
reader, missblackeyeliner +, writes (2 November 2008):
missblackeyeliner is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey sorry I just need to clarify... everyone seems to think i'm talking about just having sex with my boyfriend, but its more. I love him and even though I am only 16, and people will probably think me naive to say it, he loves me and right now neither of us are after sex until we feel we're at a point in our relationship where we're ready for it, so thank you for the advice but believe me... I don't need sex tips.
Regards,
Miss Black Eyeliner
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2008): Ignore what 'Happytochat' said, they're completely wrong. In the UK when you're 16, you are legally allowed to have sex with anyone over the age of consent. You could have sex with an 80 year old, if that's the way your tastes run...However, I think your dad is just trying to look out for you. You need to sit down and have a chat with him about things, don't get angry that he doesn't like your relationship, but discuss boundaries. You're still his child, and he wants you to be safe.
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reader, Mark25 +, writes (1 November 2008):
 It's not illegal to have sex with someone of over the age of sixteen. Your dad is saying these things to try and stop you from seeing him. He only cares about you. To be honest with you I don't blame him. It might not be illegal but why would a twenty two year old want to go out with a sixteen year old. The age of consent is too young in my opinion. Sixteen year olds are not emotionally ready for sex and feel that he's taking advantage of you. Find some lads of your own age to hang around with and your bound to get a boyfriend. Just don't rush into sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008): http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm
As you can see... from the age of 16, you can have sex and indeed date whoever you want.
So your dad is just looking out for you, because sex is bound to come up in the relationship at some point and you need to learn to deal with that.
I personally think that 16 is plenty old enough to make a decision like that... I mean if you can't figure out if you want to sleep with a guy by this point then just give up now, because it gets way harder then that.
So by all means respect your parents... but respect does not mean obeying every request blindly. Respect is learning to make your own decisions wisely, and dealing with any consequences of bad decisions in a sensible and mature way.
That is respect.
Doing what your parents say just because you have no individual sense of intelligence is fear. And no one should have to live in fear of anybody.
So if you want to sleep with they guy, go right ahead, just make sure its done in a respectful and loving way, not a quick shag in petrol-station toilet.
Once you do it the first time, you can't take it back. So make the first time special.
Flynn 24
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female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (1 November 2008):
There is no law against a 22 year old and a 16 year old hanging out, and even 'dating'. BUT, although you may be 16, which means legally you can have sex, you cant with someone over the age of 18. If a 16 year old has sex with someone who is over the age of 18, it is considered pedophilia (although that may sound exstreme in this case to some people...its what the law says). Thats in australia anyway, im pretty sure ive heard its the same in the UK.
Remember, your dad is obviously just lookign out for you and he cares for you. He was a 22 year old guy once, and he knows what they are like, he knows whats on there mind and waht they want.
At 22, a gy would be looking for the type of relationship a 16 year old just cant give him. And im not just talking about sex either.
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reader, MCQ  +, writes (1 November 2008):
legality depends on what country youre in, but that is not a good idea. trust me, i was not mature at that age, and at 19 i really doubt that i am mature yet. guys are less emotional than girls - relationships dont mean as much to us. i broke up with a girl who didnt even like me much, and she seemed pretty sad. dont go chasing waterfalls
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reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (1 November 2008):
It's not illegal for you to date some one of any age now you are 16. You cannot marry without your parent's permission though.
However, I think what your dad was saying is that he does not want you dating a guy in his 20s when you are pretty much still a school girl.
It is a pretty big age gap between you and your boyfriend. What have you got in common?
I'd respect your dad's wishes about who you date at your age. Unfortunately Dad's are just one of those things that you have to put up with, even if they are wrong some times.
Good Luck!! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008): Hi there,
As far as I am aware you can have sexual relatioships once you turn 16, however as you are under 18 you are still classified as a minor. It is not illegal for you to have this relationship.
Unfortunately, I don't think this relatioship is the right thing for you, you are still very young and you need to enjoy the best years of your life, have fun with your friends and enjoy this time with your family you'll never get it back, but what what you will have in your life is other boyfriends. Maybe at the moment you don't think that there is such a great age differnce between you both, but you might be better of finding someone within the five year age range as suggested by your dad. Sad but true..parents are always right, your father is looking out for your best interest.
Good luck hope things work out for you.
At 16 you could be vulnerable and not too sure about your thoughts,
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