A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: ok so i have this really big problem.. i came back to my country this july, and we lived in my cousins house fer a month, my cousin was 18, now 19, and im 15. age isnt rlly a problem. so after a couple of days from wehn we started living ther, he started to kind of flirt and talk to me in sweet voices, and i didnt mind, i went along with. but then in like the fourth day he started doing this he told me he loves me. the first day i was like no, but then the second day, i was liek ok, becasue i figured out he rlly does have feelings. so we were living together, so obviously we would sneak and meet each other, he wud hug and kiss me at times, and i nvr minded becasue im sure he loves me. then a week later our moms found out, and they were a little strict on us, and then stopped. so then wehn we moved to our house in august, we could only call each other and meet him wehn i go to his house. and they found out tht we were still meeting, so as of now, my mom nvr takes me to his house, but i still call him wehn i get a chance, because i still believe tht he likes me, so idk waht i should do. becasue i love him alot and he loves me, but i dunt want to get in trouble anymore. and also a day tht my mom got rlly mad, i gave my mom the ring tht he gave me. he got hurt by tht, but i still dunt kno if i shoud continue with him, because if i continue with him, i kno more problems are going to occur. i cant leave him, because i jus cant do it, and he cant either soooo plzzz helppppp
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male
reader, SJC +, writes (11 November 2009):
First of all, I don't know about the legalities of cousins dating over there. I think it's ok in all but a couple of states.
I fell in love with my cousin. We went out, had a great time, but it's all fallen appart now. Last weekend infact, so I'm still going through the trauma of it.
I don't yet know how we'll end up feeling towards each other, but I'm very away that if we don't come out of it as friends then it could make family meetings, etc, very difficult. Your relationship is a teenage fling. I'm trying hard not to make that sound patronising, as I really don't mean it like that. But will it last? Or in reality, will it last a while before you break up for some reason?
My advice, stay friends, but put the romance aside....for now... Get through school, college, etc, and when you're older, if you both still have feelings for one another, then give it a go.
Good luck. :)
A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (11 November 2009):
There is something really fishy about this post, but i'll answer anyway.
I really think, when it comes to cousins, even if it isn't illegal, it is immoral and hurtful to a lot of people around you.
You are, firstly, not old enough to have a physical relationship with anyone, let alone your cousin, and certainly not mature enough to get involved in any relationship at 15 without there being some heartache and bad blood.
If I were you, i'd sit on the fact that you both love one another but leave it at that. This is your cousin, they will be in your life through the rest of it and that is more than enough to be going on with.
Stay away from him and try to forget that there was anything more. Let your mother know this. She doesn't need the embarrassment or hurt.
He will eventually step away from you too.
In a few years when you're both older, you can have a healthy familial relationship that will last a lot longer than a quick fling at 15 with your cousin.
Good luck
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