A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I'll use other names for this - but I met bonnie 27 (I'll be clyde) a first cousin Ive known all my life and not seen much, but in the past year we have grown so very close as her boy friend is always away and never wants to do anything or go anywhere but everything we do together is brilliant with very similar interests, just love the time together, since then we went out to see a band, had a few beers, laughed, joked and she admitted what I felt for a while but thought best not to say and she told me she loved me, Aweek after we have started meeting up out of town as she lives 65 miles away and were on the phone every day for 30mins to 4 hours. Things have moved on and now have a sex life at home. I dont feel bad though now because I dont see her as my cousin, shes my soulmate and she agreed too, but when with friends they joke as they do and we make out were just close and they say hey you do what you do, its not illegal you know they tell us. I have one best mate who I've told and he is totally up for it as he can tell how happy I am, he said just get on with it your not hurting anyone and it not illegal and your parents if they love you will grow to accept it. Bonnies parents think I'm a well respectable gent and my parents think the same of her as we have both been to college and got good jobs.After the past 6 months her dad and mine have asked questions dancing around what they really want to ask and we answer accordingly not to give anything away.We just dont know how they would handle it? How do parents react if they were told something like this? And how do you handle the situation IF we did admit to them?I for some reason am happy to admit it and stuff everyone were as bonnie is in two minds, one minute she thinks we'll be out casts the next very tempted just so we can walk down the street holding hands etc.i know of people who are going out with there cousins and I dont agree or disagree really but would'nt think it would happen to me and now look, its true you cant help who you fall in love with and you only live ONCE that we know of.Can anyone help, we both have loads of brilliant friends that repect us for who we are and we have great times so think some maybe a little shocked and some would raise there eyebrows and smile and shake our hands that we're happy and think theyd be happy for us I'm sure.in my mind I think 50% of friends will be fine the other 50% would be Oh I see and get used to it after a couple of months, theyre not a problem I dont think. But my brother would probably not mix or speak much or act differently for 6 months? a year?Our parents I think would try and change our minds and be kind of shocked and annoyed with the old 'where did we go wrong' (but they know we hang around together most weekends, (a 28 year old female with me a 37 year old man, ye know! we're not kids anymore) I think most people we know just think we're close or something more the way we act together and we try not to do anything just the way we laugh together makes people think...what do we do?thanks, Clyde
View related questions:
cousin, sex life, soulmate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (10 July 2007):
 The real issue I see here is that Bonnie is MARRIED. THAT relationship must end before you annouce ANYTHING.
Get that relationship to end, and THEN wait a few months. That should help, but it will not stop the prejudice.
It is one thing to see it as cousins falling in love. It is another to think you were the cause of her failed marriage.
-Frank B Kermit
|
