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female
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*athy x x
writes: hi x xi just cant talk to boys anymore and im 14!i used to be a real hit with all the boys in my village, until i had a fight with this other girl for some stupid reason and i lost. i was too embarresed to ever show my face in that area again (apart from walking to and from school.) its just that i hate violence and i didnt want to hit her back no matter how much i hated her.Now i have lost all my self confidence. and i have been a clothes model in a cataloge for some time now and my manager has even noticed my change.i cant just go up to a boy and talk now, it just dosent come natural like it used to.has any girls got any tips that have worked for themor even better any lads got ideas of how you would want a girl to come up and talk to you.i thank you for all your answers you may even change my life.lv me x x x x x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2006): its a good thing that you didnt hit back... you shouldnt be the one embaressed to show your face it should be the girl that hit you that should be ashamed, because girls arent supposed to hit and she doesnt know that she just embaressed herself by doing it!!
you judt need to remember what you used to say to boys when you would talk to them, take a deep breath and go over their and talk to a boy that you like... if they don't like you because you lost a fight then they are certainly not worth it!!!
hope you do well
xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2005): I am sorry this has happened to you dear. It sounds like you got bullied by this girl..and you are thinking this incident may have knocked your self-confidence out of whack. You did the right thing by not fighting back. You see, this girl picked on you as a way to get power and to feel important. So now you have the choice of allowing this to further bother you and keep you from being your 'old self'. Remember, you did nothing wrong..she was wrong! Just be your old self again and try not to let this get to you. You confidence is still there-it's just hidden. Bring it back out, smile, be happy and ignore the people who try to tear you down. Paying attention to your own feelings and beliefs about what is right and wrong can help you know the right thing to do, in the future. You used your inner strength and self-confidence that helped you stand firm against this girl, you walked away, and resisted doing something when you know better. Good for you hun. Be proud of that! So now that you know this...just keep believing in yourself and start talking to your friends again..boys included. Good luck, dear
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male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (19 December 2005):
 So you lost a fight and now your self confidence is gone. Well let's see First this is a great question although I really don't think this has to do with boys. If you don't feel like violence solves anything your probably smarter than you think. All of history reflects that no matter what war we have had in the world many people didn't solve anything and many lives were lost for a person's bad attitude. The other thing is that if you didn't hit her back then you really didn't lose you just didn't fight. So you made a choice. What if you had beat her up would you still be popular or would you write a letter that says help I'm a bully and I don't know what to do? There is a huge difference between fighting for a stupid reason and defending yourself from harm. Don't mistake the two for each other. As for hanging out with that crowd they will still accept you on their terms which may not be what you want but maybe you don't need THEIR TERMS anyway. As for boys they are misterious creatures and when they grow up they usually want to protect the girl anyway. So your confidence level shouldn't be that low at your age. They honestly don't know what to say to you because they are confused. Many of them may have a crush on you and you may never know it. Most of them just want to hang with a group because they want to find acceptance from each other. Focus on this; if you want their attention just say hi and eventually they will get their ideas together. If I see two girls fighting I used to watch now I just break them up before one get's hurt. The fight itself only lasted a minute or so but your pride might last a long time. Just remember if you are a bully or tougher than her; Someone in this world is always better than them or you ever will be. So you can never be the best. You can say that some of the greatest people on earth never hurt somebody intentionally. Boys will be boys no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you love, no matter what you think. Just keep your chin up and be nice to people and in the end it will pay off. Good Luck. Ed
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