A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've got a very complicated situation that I'm not sure what to do about. One of my close friends is dating my boss. She used to be pretty unstable before they got together three years ago but recently she's been really happy.I've found out that my boss is pursuing one of the girls I work with (in a different department). He keeps asking her for dirty photos and wanting to meet up. I've seen the messages myself. She keeps turning him down because she knows he has a partner.I don't know whether to tell my friend her boyfriend is a sleazebag in case it messes with her mental health. I'm also worried about my job since he's my boss. But it feels so wrong to let her carry on with someone like that. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2017): If it was me, I'd rather my friend knows the truth. Even if I go about it in a round-about way. To make sure the boss was set up in a way where he would be found out. They do hire female private investigators to
bait men.
It is always cruel of these egotists to cheat on women. And to actually let them get away with it while hurting an innocent woman over and over again is just as cruel.
The world is already cruel enough. Don't be one of those people who sells out to keep their job while knowing a fellow human being is in the process of being destroyed by another human being.
If that was you, would you want to know?
I would.
And would you hate the people who you thought were your friends and did not care about you enough to tell you the truth? Because they sold out? It's a rare thing indeed for people to take the riskier road because everybody is looking out for themselves. It is really sad. Sometimes in life you have to take a stand and do what's right. And accept the consequences.
At the end of the day, could you accept what's going on and ignore it day after day? Or would you prefer to accept the consequences of telling the truth because in the end, this is the choice that you know your conscience could live with?
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (23 August 2017):
 What's more important to you - your friend or your job?
If you are happy to find another job first, do so, then tell her. That way, he can't ruin your reputation if you've already got a new boss.
However, if you'd like to keep your job, you'll have to pretend you don't know.
If there is any way to send her evidence anonymously, that's your only way to potentially keep her and your job.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 August 2017):
 With this one, seeing that it's your livelihood, your career, and your permanent record on the line, you BACK AWAY and stay the hell out of it! You see nothing. You hear nothing. You know nothing.
How would you explain seeing things not meant for your eyes?
Do you think your boss will fall on his sword and say "YES, I'm horrible?" Not likely. He has a job and reputation as well.
Keep your job and your personal life separate. Your friend is an adult. She's not underage, and you're not her therapist. If and when she finds out what kind og a sleaze he is, she will confide in you, and then you'll put on the best Oscar-winning performance of your life, and then eat ice cream or drink wine and be her friend. She chose a dog, but this dog is YOUR boss.
You do NOT want a boss to retaliate against you. STAY OUT OF IT. Protect your career. Your friend is going in with eyes wide open, and she has to own her decision. I'm sure she's been warned about this jerk-off. But this is BOSS Jerk-Off, and he can destroy your reputation to any future boss, as that job will come up on every background check your future employers will do on you.
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