A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My Boyfriend and I have been dating for a few years. Things were great in the beginning. Over time he has stopped being affectionate, however he does want to be with me all the time. I have tried to talk to him many times over the past couple of years and he won't talk about it. We rarely have sex and I am the only one that initiates it. We can literally go months without sex and he doesn't seem to care. He claims that he wants sex but he is always complaining that he is sick and depressed. We have a great home and family that we are close to and love. He has a good job and friends. I don't understand why he feels depressed, he use to be very affectionate and nothing has happened that I am aware of to change things.I am getting older and want to settle down and start a family. He says he wants all that yet he isn't acting on it. We don't use protection when we do have sex and he says he wants to have a baby but since we rarely have sex I feel that it will never happen. I'm concerned that I am wasting my time (clock ticking) waiting for him to come around. He says all the right things but I've begged him to show me by initiating things himself once and awhile and he just doesn't do it. I really just want a healthy normal sexual relationship. I'm not looking for a lot just more then a peck every time he leaves for work and sex at least once a week. I do believe my boyfriend loves me but I just don't understand why he isn't willing to try and work on this.
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female
reader, Mjfbla  +, writes (6 December 2010):
 Well either way ur preggo plans should be on hold until you figure out why he is this way. My boyfriend wants to have sex realy often. Im not so into it, at least that much. I can understand why he wont start it because if you dont want to have sex trying to get things going is extremely difficult. Tell him how you feel, and ask him how he feels. You have to accept that he may not want sex, or a kid. Let him know he can be honest without you getting upset.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2010): Could he be cheating on you? Are there medical issues that lower his sex drive? I would sit down and have a long talk with him about all of this. You shouldn't be living without that part of your relationship without trying to address it.
As far as having a baby is concerned, of course it is your decision, but I might wait until you figure out what is going on with your relationship before taking that step.
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