A
female
age
30-35,
*aisychain321
writes:Okay so about 6 months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. To be honest I should not have gone out with him in the first place, because I only really ever saw him as a good friend, but I was only 16, it was my first long term relationship and I had no idea how it was meant to feel. Anyway after 2 years with him I realised that the relationship was going nowhere so I ended it. We decided to stay friends, because we didn't want to lose each other as friends, but now I'm starting to think that staying friends was a bad idea. You see, he just carried on as if we were still together! He insisted on taking me out for meals, bought me expensive gifts, called and texted me all the time. I just went along with it because I didn't want to reject him and upset him, because I still care about him as a friend. I thought that maybe he would gradually move on and lose interest in me. I thought maybe I was just acting paranoid and he was just being friendly. But then he started flirting with me and making sexual remarks towards me which made me feel really uncomfortable! He also got really really jealous and angry when he found out that I am going to a sporting university next year, because it will be 65 percent guys! Now I have just found out that he has chosen a University 20 minutes away from mine!!!! So I won't even be able to escape when I go to uni!This has been going on for 6 months now and he still hasn't moved on! I have tried to push him away as nicely as I can. He keeps trying to meet up with me but I keep giving him excuses, I ignore some of his texts and calls, but I feel so guilty because I know it's upsetting him and don't want to hurt his feelings, but at the same time I don't want to lead him on and give him false hope. I just wish I could have him as a friend but I don't think its ever going to happen :( I don't know what to do. Please help someone??? P.s sorry this is so long!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (10 March 2011):
 Make a clean break. Be firm. Stop trying to be as nice as you can - tell him the truth in the shortest possible sentence, wish him the best of luck, and say "Stop trying to contact me." Stop giving excuses - tell him you don't want to see him anymore, at all. Stop ignoring his calls and block his number, or change yours (give him one warning first).
It is completely impossible to break up without hurting someone's feelings. In fact, by dragging it out you have hurt both of you worse. You would both be over it by now, otherwise. Accept that you will feel guilty, accept that guilt is the price of progress, man up and tell him no.
No friendship, no contact, nothing. You'll both be happier.
A
female
reader, GeeGee255 +, writes (10 March 2011):
 He may have told you he was fine with just being friends but he lied. He was just trying to stay close to you until he could persuad you to change your mind. But he has never really let you go. You need to set him straight now before you leave for college or the problem is going to follow you there. It's better to do it now while your family and friends are close by and can help you in case things get ugly.
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