A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I cheated on my fiance. We have been together 6 years. I cheated and about a week later I couldn't handle it anymore, I had to tell her. I know I made a mistake and wanted to be honest. I love her to much to lie and get away with it. I knew it would hurt her by me telling her but I had to. I knew it was going to ruin our lives by me telling her but I felt telling her was the right thing to do. She obviously took it very hard and we separated. She hasn't talked to me, or wont answer the phone or texts for a month and a half. Now I don't know if telling her was the right thing to do? She had cheated on me when we first started dating and I forgave her. It took a while but I can honestly say I could trust her. Will thing ever work out? Will she ever trust me again? I know she needs time but she won't even talk to me to work things out. I just want to love her 100% and I want her to know that.
View related questions:
cheated on me, fiance, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2009): Wow, cheating after 6 years?! If I was her, I would never talk to you again, let alone be able to trust you.
It definitely was the right thing to tell her, but unfortunately you screwed up big time.
A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (15 December 2009):
 The medicine she gave you was sort of a nasty bitter taste. The meds you gave her were more like, sewage. The longer you're in a relationship, the more trust and faithfulness you should be developing. That's how it worked for her, but for you, you got weaker. You've been with her for years, you were going to get married. You had a deep, deep committment to her; a life-long committment, and you proved you can't handle that. There's nothing telling her that in 10 years you'll still love her and only her. I wouldn't count on getting her back. Telling her was a good idea though and should score you some points. MUCH better than just hiding it untill she finds out. Keep trying. After 7 or 8 months, give up.
~Sy
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2009): there is a difference cheating at the beginning of the relatioship when everything wasn't stable yet. But cheating after 6 years of love and trust. That's gotta hurt a lot more.
...............................
A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (13 December 2009):
Telling your significant other that you cheated is always the right thing to do. However, cheating is always the WRONG thing to do. So what if she cheated on you 6-years ago? It's your bad for taking her back.
Just give her time and space and when she's ready hopefully she'll talk to you again. Maybe leave her a message telling her that you'll give her space and would like to hear from her when she's ready. Also tell her what you told us, that you want her to trust you again and love her 100%. Then leave her be, and she may come back around and she may not. More than likely she probably will, but it's definitely not going to be easy. Normally, I hate cheaters and don't sympathize whatsoever, but it sounds like you're sincere about it being a mistake and still loving your fiance. But if you do win her back, just make sure you never do it again because there will be no going back after that.
...............................
|
