A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I am in a long distance relationship and I always the one traveling to see him. I don't mind the traveling 'cause he has a really tide , really busy schedule and he can't make it. The thing is that it is not easy to get our schedule together, and I am always switching shift around and making an effort to pair up with the same weekend off to we could be together. The proble is this, I am always so excited about going there and see him, but he is always busy and now he is telling me not to come 'cause his schedule is kind of crazy on november and can't pay attention to me. Well, he really has a crazy schedule, days off, overnights, etc, etc. He says that he can't have me around 'cause he needs to rest the only one day he has off a week. He wants me to go in december when he is less busy.I just get mad 'cause I am struguling changing my schedule around to be at least one day with him, and he is telling me not to come. For me, not seeing him for more than a month is a lot, but it seems he does not mind.I don't know what to do or say to him. It aggrevates me his attitude about not seeing each other for more that a whole month when I am the one willing to make the effort.Am I over reacting? What do I do..? Honestly, I don't think he loves me the way I love him and it hurtsHelp...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2007): Baby,I could of written your letter last week, only if I knew then what I know now! My bf lives a few hours away and yes his schedule and situtation dictated that I drive, and yes when it was going to be over a month I was more upset then him. DON'T make your schedule revolve around his and don't drive to see him, especially since he makes the one day he has free comment which my bf also said. These comments began to grate on me and then I got angry and we broke up since of my "unkind" words. I do love him and beleive we had something very speical but by meeting all his needs and none of mine I lowered myself and my self-esteem. We did have a wonderful time together but since he has so much to do I should of stayed home and got my stuff done. When he missed me enough he would make the drive or show more dedication, without my saying anything. Now, I can only hope that he misses me soon and realises that I was worth working this out for, if he doesn't well I have to deal with the fact he was not worth it..or it was not meant to be.If you let him call the shots he has all the power and you will be come needy and unhappy etc. Stop making an effort but be sweet and busy, A Poor Man Can't Shop, A Jelious Man can't Work. Let him make time for you. Don't be dumb like me. Good luck sweetie...and light a candle for me.
A
female
reader, loriegirl +, writes (26 October 2007):
 I am sorry to hear that you think he doesnt care to see you. I think you should have a talk with him and ask him straight out If he wants this relationship to work out and if he is willing to go out of his way at times to make it work. Honestly I dont think its fair to you that you are the one putting your all into it. I used to be in similar relationships where I was always the one who put effort into the relationship while they were only there when they needed sex. My boyfriend Now, I've been with him for 7 months now and he lives 4 hours from me, But we both manage to make time to see eachother and put our efforts into the relationship. We only see eachother every other weekend, either he will stay the weekend at my place or me at his. This works out for us. I dont know if I could hang for a month though, Your man sounds like he doesnt have time for a relationship right now, or he is just not putting any effort into it. But try talking to him, tell him what you need, and if he is willing to make an effort to keep the relationship in good terms.
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (26 October 2007):
 Backoff for a bit and give him time to regroup. You both seem to have a pretty heavy and tedious and overextended schedule. Spend some time doing something nice for yourself as it seems you are doing most of the giving. Let him have a little space so he can destress a bit. Give him time to miss you a bit and let him make some arangements to be with you.
The major problems here seem to be the schedule. He could be trying to keep some stress off of you by leeting you take it easy for a bit. I am sure he knows the traveling is tiresome and expensive. Hopefully he is being considerate of your feelings here and it is nothing more.
From my past experience the "I don't think he loves me the way I love him phrase could be possible. Although it might not be accurate. My ex bf and I have gone thru this. It was a combination of things causing stress that made him to back off. I felt the way you did. After less than two months since we split he has been calling me alot. He's been paying me more attention than he had in months. Last night we spent hours riding country roads listening to music and talking. Talking about anything and everything.
I walked away as his friend at the end of the relationsihp. I backed off and I let him come to me. He had time to get his finances together, reflect on things and learn to miss me. He feels less pressure and to be honest so do I. We agreed we had the best time and it was fun. Back away and let him have a bit of space and hope for the best.
God bless you and give it time. Good things come to those who wait.
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