A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok here goes. My bussiness partner is well known as a "Playa", so we'll call him P. He and I are friends first, partners in bussiness second. P is known for his success in seducing attractive young girls, something that I will admit gets me jealous sometimes. As long as he stayed away from the girl I was interested in, then there were no problems. We direct and produce music videos for entertainment. We've profited and devoted much time and money into this small bussiness. It was all going well until just a few days ago. there was a new girl who started to work at our store. I knew of her long before he ever did. I talked to her several times and I ofcourse gave her compliments of how beautiful I thought she was. She seemed to be taking them well as she kept smiling and talking to me. P caught wind of her a few days ago and decided that he wanted her as well. This is where our third bussiness partner comes into play. He's also involved in the rising success of our little project. We'll call him M. M told P that he don't think he should move in on the girl I was talking with. P didn't know I was into her so he apologized and said he would back off. M and I know P has several girls at his disposal so we didn't think it fair for him to fish (so to speak) in my pond. P has more pictures of naked girls in his phone than any other guy I've ever met. REAL girls. Girls we have met before or know now. So ofcourse I was a bit worried that if P pursued the girl I was talking to, he would succeed in getting her. P promised he would leave it alone and find some other new girl to get with. We believed him. Well, about a couple days ago, while leaving my department, I found P and the new girl laughing, shoulder to shoulder, him lightly touching the length of her arm, walking out into the parking lot. I was furious. I also catch them staring at eachother for long periods of time. They don't know I'm aware of this yet. She barely talks to me now anymore. I told M this and he too thought it was very disrepectful of P to do this behind my back. One thing led to another and somehow we sorta agreed on kicking him out of the group. I'm actually not totally ok with doing this move because P HAS contributed a lot to this bussiness. Not as much as M and I, but he has made sacrifices. Let me make one point clear, though. I know I have NO RIGHT to be mad if the girl likes him better than she likes me. I've accepted that. I just think that the way he went about it was very snakey. He promised he wouldn't but he obviously didn't intend to keep his word. Now everytime I talk to P, I feel a boiling anger deep inside that I try my best to conceal. He doesn't know that I saw them so he acts as if nothing is wrong. I really just want to move past this and forget it ever happened. I want to forget about her and continue to work on our project. But everytime I see them I get so pissed off. I can't get them out of my head. What should I do? M is ok with just us managing by ourselves. I too, know that we can run it just as easily without him. I just don't feel right kicking him out because he too was just as excited about getting it started as the rest of us. It's stupid to let a girl come between us like this but the fact is that he didn't respect my wishes enough to hang back at least until I found out if I even had a chance.What can I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you, you guys are right. I guess I was to heated from earlier. I slept it off and I honestly dont feel as angry as I did before. You're right, I don't think he'll change so I should find someone else he doesn't know. I don't compete with friends for the same girl. That does more damage than good.
He is a good Business partner otherwise. I'll let this one go. Thanks for the advise
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (31 July 2012):
 Sorry, you can't call DIPS on another human being.
And honestly, you make it out to be that these girls have no brains and just CAN'T resist your friend P. As I see it, if a woman is THAT easily swooning over P, they aren't worth trying for.
I personally think you are overreacting and green with envy. Neither are very attractive traits.
Chill. And maybe start dating woman OUTSIDE of the work place. Your work place shouldn't be your 'dating pool" anyhow.
If P otherwise is a good friend, let him know. I doubt he will change his ways though and I think it's ridiculous to give up a good business partner over a woman you barely know and who you might not even have had a short at. TRY and separate your PERSONAL life from your work LIFE.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 July 2012):
 I can understand that you are angry and upset at him. But I think you are going a step to far here and over reacting. I am aware that you liked her and you felt you had a chance with her until he came along, but also it could be a fact that he may have liked her as well. Yes he may have been sneaky but you saw them laughing together and him touching her arm, that's not exactly much to go on, and yes maybe they do look at each other, again not much to dwell on, he hasn't actually gone and slept with this girl behind your back. Before you kick him out of the business talk to him, as you said you are friends, so be honest with him and tell him how you feel and see what he has to say.
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A
female
reader, myrnathatminx +, writes (30 July 2012):
I wouldn't ostracize him- at least not just yet. If that's how he's going to play this game, then let him. You need to be more confident. Compliments aren't enough. Talking isn't enough. I don't care what people tell you, if you don't give some hint that you are available, she will probably just assume you are simply a nice guy. I have fallen head over heels for male friends and ended up not going out with them despite our chemistry b/c they didn't make their intentions clear in the first place. 2 friends in particular confessed to me AFTER I got a boyfriend b/c they thought I would wait for them or make the first move or it just took them that long to develop romantic feelings for me. And on the occasions I made the first move with other guys they didn't appreciate it and only wanted sex- which they didn't get b/c I'm too stubborn.But I digress...My point here is that you need to be clear and who cares if he likes her too. If you told him you like her, then he should be aware that you are going to pursue her. That being said despite the metaphorical peeing on the other's territory like a dog [ie. telling her that one guy interested in her is gay or only interested in sex, that you play an instrument better] this can still be conducted with minimal damage to your friendship.You are right when you say that you shouldn't get mad at her for liking him more, the same goes for him. Personally, I liked it when dudes competed for my attention- and no one stopped being friends with anyone nor did it ever become violent.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (30 July 2012):
 I'd tell P to stay away from this G..... or else you'll K him in the A!!!!!
Good luck....
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