A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My name is Heather. I'm 14, almost 15. I really like this boy I have met twice. He's 17. I think he likes me, too. He has seriously flirted with me, like swatting me playfully but hard on my bottom below my shorts and tickling me a lot and beeping my nose, and once we looked at each other without saying anything for like a whole minute really close and I think we almost kissed, and we have held hands and he touches me a lot on my legs and lets me sit on his lap. The problem is he is my brother's college roommate.I first met him when me and my parents drove my brother up to school. He was there already and helped us carry my brother's stuff up from the car, and they invited him to come to dinner with us. I sat next to him, and we pressed our legs against each other under the table, and a few times he put his hand on my thigh and I smiled at him.Then last weekend, Columbus day weekend, my parents had this marriage retreat thing and I visited my brother and stayed in their room, and ended up having a lot of time alone with his roommate because my brother had made a date on Saturday night with a girl he had just met and the roommate agreed to kind of watch me (not that I couldn't take care of myself for a few hours but my brother didn't want to tell our folks he left his slightly wild 15-year-old sister on her own on a college campus on a Saturday night, LOL) so my brother didn't have to break his date to watch his little sister, which you can imagine how big a turn-off that would have been to the girl. My brother didn't get back until like 2:30 in the morning. His roommate gave me a REALLY long back rub, and we talked a lot about ourselves. Even though it was kind of cold I wore super skimpy clothes that day (actually a pair of cut-off shorts I snuck into my bag that I'm not even supposed to still have and a thin halter top), and the roommate thanked me for that like he knew somehow I did it just for him.My brother's roommate is only 17 in college because he is really smart and skipped a grade in school. He has never had a girlfriend. I guess cause he is kind of nerdy and is more focused on school and stuff, plus he told me the girls he was attracted to were usually a couple of grades behind him becuase he was younger than his classmates, and he never really got to know them very well, which I think could have been a hint. He is super sweet, though, and kind of good looking even though he doesn't really notice how he looks or try to be. I have had one boyfriend, but not serious, so in some ways I am more experienced than he is. I think the fact that I am his roommate's sister might be holding him back a little bit, but I don't think my age bothers him too much. I will turn 15 before he turns 18 which isn't until Feburary. My brother has invited him to come to our house for Thanksgiving, because he lives a long way away and was going to be just staying at the college for the weekend.We exchanged e-mails, and he already e-mailed me telling me that it was fun hanging out with me, and telling me that my brother had invited him to come down for Thanksgiving, which I found out from him before my parents told me, actually asked me if I would be okay with which of course I was. He doesn't like texting and doesn't carry his phone with him to classes. He is very spiritual even though he is a physics major and talks about that he'd rather be connected to the trees on campus than his cell phone but he said he would be okay with e-mailing me and also offered to help me out with my math which I sometimes have trouble with.So should I ask him if he wants to be my boyfriend before Thanksgiving, or should I wait until Thanksgiving, or should I just dream about him?I have no idea if my parents would be cool with me dating him because he is in college, even though he is younger than some boys in my high school. I have been asked out by at least one senior who I know is older than him because I went to his 18th birthday party but I said no. But I don't want to try to talk to my folks about this guy if he isn't even interested, like even if he likes me he might not want to try to date a girl who doesn't live right there, cause he doesn't have a car so we really couldn't see each other very much. But I think about him ALL the time since I got home Monday and I thought about him a lot even before I saw him again after I met him the first time.P.S. Even though people think I am kind of wild around school and like I have sort of a reputation from stuff people have said that isn't true I am still a virgin, and so is this boy and I definitely don't think he is trying to score or anything like that.
View related questions:
flirt, never had a girlfriend, roommate, still a virgin, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2012): First, to the anonymous poster who can't spell, what about this guy makes you think he is a creep? Even if they were going to have sex, in many states within three years is allowed. But in this case, hyper-flirty Heather (sorry, girl, but it's true) is clearly the more forward of the two, and even she isn't throwing herself quite that far at him.
That the guy is still a virgin, that he hasn't even had a girlfriend yet because he hasn't been able to get to really know the slightly younger girls he is attracted to, that he is attracted to slightly younger girls, makes me think he is just shy. Girls grow up faster than boys, and in most relationships, in college and beyond, the boy is older.
Now, to Heather. The age and distance thing are certainly obstacles. That could be good, though, because if you do manage to work around them it means that the relationship is important enough to both of you.
Have you talked to your brother? Do you and your brother even have the kind of relationship you could talk to him about something like this? He would certainly know this boy a lot better than you can from two meetings, and would probably also know if the guy is a creep.
It does say something that he left this boy alone with you after you dressed up skimpy just to show your body off. And believe me, Heather, if the boy could tell, your brother could tell, too. He probably also knows the family history of those spank-me shorts you wore and that you aren't supposed to have them anymore, and he certainly knows his sister is a major flirt and needs taking care of, which you clearly do, even if you think your flirting is innocent. But I can't tell if it says he is more into his new girl at college than into caring about his sister, or that he really trusts this guy.
I would actually worry more about the possibility that the guy is too inexperienced and nerdy and just overwhelmed by a sexy girl paying attention to him. But if you guys talked for what, five hours straight?--while your brother was on his date, and he stayed interested, didn't try anything improper, kept you interested, and is still interested in you now that you have gone home, he is probably mature enough.
Talk to your brother if you can. Go slowly. I would definitely just e-mail casually until Thanksgiving to see if there is still that spark when you see him again. And good luck!
--Dianne--
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 October 2012): This guy sounds like a creep. Stay away from him. He wants you for sex, which is ILLGEAL since you are a CHILD.
...............................
A
female
reader, Bowsandlondon95  +, writes (10 October 2012):
Hello :) well it sounds like this boy really likes you, alot. :) By the things that he says and does it seems like he is definetely into you! :) Maybe you should just carry on emailing him for a bit and see what happens with him from now up to thanksgiving. If like nothing has happened between you or anything, wait til thanksgiving and maybe ask him then! :) It's obviously much better asking him in person than on an email, then you can see by the reaction on his face how he really feels. Alot of people do have long distance relationships and they seem to work out alright because idf you havent seen him in a few weeks or something it would be so much beter when you do see him because you have waited longer, and will have alot more to talk about and you wont get bored! Good luck!
...............................
|
