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anonymous
writes: I recently got together with my brothers ex girlfriend and am now in a difficult situation. We really like each other and would like to continue seeing each other, but my brother has advised me against it. He says he wants to move on with his life and her to move on with hers. Should I feel guilty and let her go to keep things simple between me and my brother, or should I follow my heart and keep seeing this girl?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2012): My brother is dating my ex and it has caused years of problems. If you want to be estranged from your brother, then keep dating his ex. Your brother deserves to be able to move on with his life(as he has told you) and not have his ex constantly in his life at family functions, etc. If this was a friend of yours, do you think you'd stay friends? No, because your (former) friend would avoid you in order to avoid his ex. Your brother is in a more difficult situation since you are family and it is really crappy of you to put him in this situation. There are many, many girls out there who you could be very happy with and it is incredibly selfish to treat your brother this way. Also, any girl who is willling to put herself between two brothers is no catch, but a self-centered ....
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female
reader, bubblinie  +, writes (24 February 2012):
Listen, im the girlfriend down the road! The situation is very uncomfortable and i would rather not be adound it! Who does this any way!!!!!! I dont understand how anyone in the family can accept the relationship! And to comment on another answer, he is not bitter about losing her, she broke his heart!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2009): Don't do it. First of all it breaks the all time cardinal rule. It would be the same as dating your best friend's ex. Bottom line is, there are a million women out there, why do you have to date one that dated your brother. Not to mention, it's gross. Really. Also, how do you know for a fact that she isn't dating you to get back at him? You don't know. She claims to have feelings for you but also claims that she was attracted to you while she was seeing your brother. Doesn't sound very trustworthy to me. You also have to consider other factors, down the road, will your brother's future girlfriend be uncomfortable with the situation, other family members, and so on.
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female
reader, l0$tGiRL  +, writes (8 July 2008):
hi i just wnted to send you a answer.i say go for it. your borther is prolly just bitter about looseing her. i'm in the same kind of thing accept i'm female and in love with my ex's brother and i would follow him to the end of the earth if he said so.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2008): dont do it, you're being mean to your brother and you could hurt him very much and the girl is a disrespectful slag for disrupting your relationship with your brother.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2005): I am in a similar situation, but i am the girl in the picture. I have been hanging out with my an old boyfriend's brother. The ex and i had ended our realtionship 3 1/2 years ago. His brother and I have both admitted having feelings for each other, and all of a sudden my ex has a problem with it. I am going to keep seeing my current guy, and his brother will have to deal with it. I think it is hard enough to find someone to care about in this messed up world. Dont give up on true happiness for yourself becasue it makes someone else unhappy. I you have any advice for my situation let me know how your worked out. -M
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female
reader, Bev Conolly +, writes (18 March 2005):
 If I were you, I'd be saying "Sorry, brother. As much as I'd enjoy having you direct my love life, I have to follow my heart on this one". I have to tell you, this smells faintly of fraternal jealousy to me... as if he doesn't want you to have what he couldn't keep.Your brother's opinion doesn't really count for much in this situation. It's too bad that he and she weren't able to remain friends after they broke up, but is that really your concern?Put another way, if your next-door neighbour had broken up with a girl and you wanted to go out with *her*, would you let the fact that your neighbour would have to deal with seeing her come to your house affect your decision?If your brother has a real problem with seeing you dating his ex, then perhaps you can refrain from bringing her home when you know he's there, for a few months at least, until his feelings have had a chance to settle. Discuss this with him, but don't leave the girl out of the loop. Let her know what you're thinking and what you're doing, so she's not left in the dark, either.Whatever you decide to do, remember that it's your love-life, and your brother doesn't have much say in whom you choose to date. You can defer to his feelings, but you might resent doing that later, especially if she turns out to be a wonderful woman.Good luck.
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