A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:iv been with my bf for 2 years nearly now, and from beginning he was watching porn, i didnt mind cos we were just starting, now its annoying and makes me feel he enjoys the pron more than me, iv tried talking to him but he just says im not getting rid of it, it puts down my confidence when it comes to us having sex, most of time i think he's visoning other girls, what can i do or say to him to get him to carm down.
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male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (30 July 2008):
 i agree 100%. In almost all cases his watching porn is not a threat to your relationship at all. In fact, in most cases it can help spice things up.
As in any situation involving sex, good communication is probably the answer. If your guy is getting ideas from his viewing experiences that he'd like to try in real life, get him to talk about them and see how close the two of you can come to doing them in real life. Remember, though, porn has the advantage of all the tricks of video, so neither of you should expect to be able to perform exactly as well as they do there. What he sees, for example, might well be the composite result of 15 or 20 tries by experienced professionals in the business, all spliced together into one video segment, so he can't expect the two of you to be able to duplicate the feat in a single go.
But whatever you do, please do NOT regard this as a threat to you personally. It's not. And as I say, you can turn it into an opportunity for closer and better sexual experiences by opening up new levels of communication between the two of you.
And one more thing. Not only should he be able to tell you what he wants, but you should feel free to tell him what YOU want, too. That's part of the whole idea of better communication leading to better sex.
A
male
reader, saltwater +, writes (30 July 2008):
 You will never stop a lad watching porn.
Just browse this site and look at some of the questions posted by women like you who are convinced that their boyfriend watching porn is a problem; and in most cases, it isn't.
Now of course there are some exceptions to this rule; such as a man turning sex down, or becoming withdrawn from their partner; none of these things you have mentioned. So I don't think you have to worry.
Men will always watch porn.
Men will always masturbate watching porn. It's the way it is.
They watched porn as kids; they'll watch porn as adults.
Have you tried watching porn with him and/or incorporating those sex acts into your sex life? Doing that works for a lot of couples and makes their sex life more interesting and enjoyable.
If not, try it.
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