A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Please help!!! I have been seeing someone for about 9 months now and i have a problem. I was coming out of an elevator with him and there was a girl and her mom in there. The girl and her mom got out the elevator and once we got out i started to tell him a story and he wasnt paying attention. When i turned to look at him, he was staring at the girls butt (which she barely even had...) Literally in a daze.. he wasnt paying attention to what i was saying. This is not the first time it happened with him, he has done this before. and when i asked him what it was all about he said "so what i do it all the time!" My past with men have all been the same sh*t. Ive been cheated on 3/3 times already in serious relationships and I really am sick and tired of it. I took a two year break just to prevent myself from hurt. When i would ignore situations like this before, I always found out they were cheated and remembered these little red flags i should havent ignored. I have a great body and i often get complimented.. i do not have low confidence. I just want to know if i am overreacting, he has sent me numerous texts apologizing already but im just turned off at this point idk what to do, i have alot of love for him but i was hesitant to even start dating and im not sure how i feel about this situation
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2013): The danger with being attractive is that you attract a lot of men that are primarily after one thing... And it's also quite worrying how many can seem nice guys at first, but then prove what absolute sh**s they are, that literally are just ht for it, and don't care about lying, leading a girl on in order to get some. Something I'm realising a lot recently. Like the others said it's seriously concerning he went into a trance... He truly has NO self control. You're setting yourself up for 4/4 if you stick around, sorry. You're probably a very nice person...Also too emotionally available... You're like me, too nice maybe, I'm too open and trusting with people, also very attractive- have realised that I likely come across as an easy target for men- string me along, I won't bite back... Haha well they better watch out! Don't stand for it. You're gut is telling you to walk away from this- gove it the benefit of the doubt- instead of them! Time to start looking after number one lol, :) Good luck take care :) xxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2013): I can see why you're on edge about this issue. The good news is not every guy who looks is going to act. Some have self control and decency. I'll grant you, those guys are hard to come by. The bad news is your boyfriend sounds like one who would cheat if given the opportunity. If he was literally so bothered over some girl's ass that he was in a trance, that's not something you should brush off. It's one thing to take a quick look, but guys who ogle to the point of ignoring their partners shows they lack self control. In which case, yes, they would probably cheat when presented with an opportunity. Please, whatever you do, don't blame yourself for the way guys have treated you. It's just luck of the draw, trust me. I've dated some real low lives in my past, but as cheesy at it sounds, I found that one in a million type.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (18 September 2013):
 if you have been cheated on with all your boyfriends what you need to do is look at the type of men you are attracting and figure out why you attract cheaters.
NOT all men cheat.
my husband looks. when he OVERLOOKS.. I say something snarky to him like "don't break your neck"
looking is not the same as cheating....
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (18 September 2013):
Looking is something almost every guy does. Some just hide it better or respect the person they're with enough not to do it right in front of them.
So looking won't indicate he's going to cheat. What is a red flag to me is that he was in a freaking trance. To me that lack of control could very well mean he'll be unable to control himself if he's ever in a situation where he could cheat.
Other than that do you trust him? Has he given you any reason to think he'd cheat?
Btw, you may want to start choosing guys a little differently in the future. Your attraction may be working against you. I know that I've had some bad luck with cheating as well because I've had a few very insecure girlfriends. I don't feel like that's my type, but maybe they are attracted to me for some reason.
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