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female
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*eja
writes: My boyfriend and I have been living together for 6 years, the 1st year his sister and her husband lived with us, they gave me hell,spreading gossip, u name it they did it. Anyway they moved out,life got back to normal. Two years ago they came back to live with us with their son. Life was going good they left me alone,in fact I started speaking to her husband,just to live good (even though it was the most difficult thing for me to do.) Now the trouble starts all over her husband's at it again spreading rumours. I've had just about enough, my boyfriend and I argue everyday, he seems to think that I should ignore them and live my life but thats really hard, when someone always has to tell u something he says negative. I think what affects me the most is that the gossipmonger's business is really messed up, he's uneducated so he is always sounding foolish and ignorant.I just can't stand him. When I decide to move out my boyfriend is upset and says I'm giving up. I just don't know what 2 to. Help me because I think about poisoning him everyday.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (5 June 2006):
 "You can pick your friends but you can't..." yadda yadda You may be stuck with them as relatives but you sure as hell don't have to live with them in the same house. Let your boyfriend know just how miserable you are living with them, and I'm sure if he truly loves you, he will find different living arrangements. I think you have already done more than your share in the matter. Home should be your haven and life is too short for it not to be. Stick to your guns, girlfriend! Best of luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2006): When i think of people who gossip and judge others unfairly, I think of 'snakes'...crawling out from under a rock. There are those people who decide one's character only if it's in their own minds. They gossip because it makes them feel justified and smug. Sad, isn't it? In the case of this sister and her husband, they are definitely unhealthy people in your life. The best thing you can do is to avoid them and to exist outside all their ugliness. So what is your bf doing in all this, while his relatives are demeaning you? Nothing. Your bf should be policing the borders of his home and family and protecting the one who means the most to him...you. Sadly, he's likely chosen to walk the middle path and try to get along with everyone. Time for you both to have a big talk. You two need to form a united front and the best thing you both can do...is ask the relatives to move out and develop a polite distance from both of them. I'm not saying 'cut them out of your life"...just distance yourselves and at family gatherings if 'gossip' becomes evident, just politely leave. But this is family, just don't bring yourself down to his/their level. Good luck, dear.
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