A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a wonderful boyfriend who makes me incredibly happy, however, during the summer, a female friend of his came over from another country to stay with him and his family. He shares his bedroom with his brother, and during her stay, his brother was moved into another room and she was given his bed. Naturally, I was quite unhappy at the thought of another girl I'd never spoken to staying in the same room as my boyfriend for a week. I spoke to him about it only to be told I was being silly, which made me feel quite silly and considerably more upset about it. So I decided just to suck it up since he seemed excited about getting to meet her (he met her online and had only met her once before in real life). She turned out to be alright, but I can't understand her motivation: coming to stay with a strange guy who has a girlfriend.Soon he starts university, and because of this, I won't be able to see him until Christmas. So long because he's going over to stay with her across the October holidays. I'm really not happy with it even though I fully trust him. I'm not a jealous person and I'm totally fine with him hanging out with other girls, I just don't like this whole situation. I don't believe he'd cheat on me, but I don't trust her at all (seeing as I don't know her).Whenever I try to touch on the fact I'm unhappy with the whole idea, he just tells me I'm being silly. It doesn't feel in the slightest silly and I don't think it is at all. I'm slightly offended when he says that.I'd appreciate any words of comfort or advice.
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christmas, has a girlfriend, jealous, moved in, university Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tigerfeet +, writes (24 August 2011):
I think the female friend should have been in the other room. Why don't you suggest to go with him in October.
If you didn't have strong feelings for your boyfriend you wouldn't care what he did.
Ask him how he would feel if the shoe was on the other foot, and it was you who had this relationship.
I'm sure it's a guy thing they don't realise some women go out to get what is out of their reach, with the guy ending up being piggy in the middle.
He probably feels there is no threat to your long lasting relationship. He must know deep down he is for you alone, as you are for him.
This friend may be trying to ruin your relationship she may be jealous of you. Try not to mention the friend and concentrate on your relationship with your boyfriend.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): Well if you're already feeling unsure about your relationship's stability, chances are it isn't going to work out. You need to be confident that he loves you and wouldn't ever betray you like that in order for this relationship to work. If he feels that you don't trust him living with her then he's probably just going to get more and more driven away from you. You need to show him that you love him and care for him and trust him, in order for him to be happy with you and not want to cheat on you or breakup with you.
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