A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend of 2 years has a close group of friends and live in a small town and do alot together. when we met they were all nice to me. there are about 12 in this group and five women of the twelve.one woman in particular they have no intimate relationship but she is the ring leader. she has a man but when he is distant she calls my bf and when another is dating she finds reason to have them. no just me.he sticks up for her over me. she is nice to me but not behind my back and he doesnt stick up for me. i was even told by a person in the "group" that she will talk about everyone including me and he says nothing but when i express my feelings he will stick up for me and laugh it off. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 October 2021):
 Some people never outgrow "high school". This woman is one of them.
You are a WHOLE-grown person and can stick up for yourself if needed. You don't need your BF to do that. You might WANT him to do it, but it's not going to happen.
This group has/had certain dynamics going WAY before you were part of it and NOW you want it to change. That isn't going to happen.
If she is a gossip, don't tell her ANYTHING you don't want to be spread around. "Kill" her with kindness and otherwise ignore her antics. Don't be a gossip yourself.
Make friends with the other women. Just be mindful of what you share. The whole gaggle of people might just gossip a lot.
You are ALL old enough to know how to behave civilly.
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