A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend's mother seems very jealous of me. Lately, she has been saying things that have really struck out as rude. I also have an old post from last year that kind of describes how over protective she is over her 24 year old son and our Thanksgiving incidenthttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriends-mother-wont-let-her-son-live.htmlMy kidneys were sore the other day and I told her I probably have an infection. She says "Well that's better than you raising a kid for 18 years" um WTF? Then, the next day I had a gyno appointment. She asked how it went and I said "Well, I have an infection" and she cut me off and said "I don't care if your shits purple-polka dotted, as long as you aren't pregnant." WTF!!?! I guess I should mention that him and I have been together for 6 years, and don't plan on kids until we are ready. I don't see why she keeps bringing it up...My boyfriend called earlier to tell me that she said "I'm glad I get to take P's (my name) spot yard saling this weekend,"(A hobby of him and I's that we do every weekend.)She's made several snide remarks recently and it's been bugging me. I always thought she liked me, but it wasn't until the gyno appointment I realized how jealous she is of me. It's weird, because sometimes her and I will laugh and get along... but then other times, it's like I will never be good enough and GOD FORBID we have children. Which is something we aren't planning on soon.How do I deal with my boyfriends mother? She is so insensitive.Any kind words will help, thanks.
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male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (17 July 2014):
 Is your boyfriend an only child?
She clearly doesn't want to loose her precious little boy, at least that's how she sees him, and already feels that you have taken his attention away from her and she is jealous. She sees you as a threat to her relationship with her son.
The baby thing? She is probably worried deep down that if the two of you had a child then that would put even less of his time and attention on her and make her feel even more isolated from him.
Please don't let her get to you and don't let her know it bothers you. If she knows its getting you down she will do it all the more.
Mark
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2014): OP here, thanks Futurama! (Miss that show too). I've been nothing but nice, so I guess I'll just keep killing her with kindness.
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A
female
reader, ImissFuturama +, writes (17 July 2014):
 You're right, she is probably jealous because she feels she's no longer as important since you came along. It's not you personally, she would act this way toward any woman dating her son. So try not to let it get to you too much, because this is about her feeling like she's "losing" her son. It's not because you aren't good enough in some way.
I would just be kind to her. Compliment her on something she's good at, or something she's wearing. Hopefully it will make it more difficult to be rude to you if you're nothing but nice to her. Whether it helps or not, at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing you're being the mature adult in this situation.
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