A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in love with my musician boyfriend . But he's always spending time with his music . I go to the gym regularly and there is a really sweet guy there . He's cute and he seems to be attracted to me . I get butterflies around him sometimes and i'm always excited to see him . I flirt and laugh with him a little bit . But I come home and do not think about him for one minute . Am I cheating ?Am I overreacting ?
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female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (25 June 2010):
 You are not cheating but you may be getting ready to. You are not overreacting - you are bored with your boyfriend. It sounds like you want more from your relationship but your boyfriend is into his music. I can tell you from personal experience - you are not going to get in the way of a guy and his music - plain and simple. If this is unacceptable to you it is time to move on. Maybe the guy at the gym would be a good start. You both have the guy in common.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): Are you saying that you feel isolated in your current relationship and want out? If so, try to consider that issue as independent of the cute guy at he gym. And if you care about your boyfriend, talk to him if you're feeling second to his music.
As a musician whose been on the other side of this one, I'd like to add, would you be jealous of his job and consider it a "mistress" if he was an accountant? Just because he loves what he does, doesn't mean he doesn't love you. If you're feeling ignored, you need to let him know.
PS - If you're worried about cheating, I personally sum it up like this "Looking, No touching." Also, if you can talk to the BF about it, it's not cheating. If you're keeping it secret, you may want to examine your motives and plans...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 June 2010): No you are not cheating. I think cheating more as kissing or going out on a date with someone else not, flirting with someone else. From what you have written it sounds like you really like this guy from the gym. I want to tell you a method I use to figure out if I really DO like someone, how much I like them, or who I like more. What i do is I list ten good things, and ten bad things about the guy, and if there is more reasons for good, or they were easier to think of then you like him, but if there is more reasons for bad, or they were easier to think of then you probably don't like him as much as you thoght you did. That works for finding out, if you like him, and how much you like him. To find which one you like more, list ten good things, and bad things about the guy from the gym, then list ten good things and ten bad things about your boyfriend, if you get more good things for the guy from the gym, then you like him more, if you list more good things for your boyfriend then you like him more. That always helps me, I'm not 100% positive it'll work for you, but it wouldn't hurt to try. Good luck! :)
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