A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 7 months now. We were so happy at first.He came to work for my family and I was in an unhappy relationship wit my ex and we found that we just clikcked and came together.We fell in love quickly although i had known him and like him for years anyway.Spent every night together after that for 6 months.then this last month........He hurt his back working at ours then went off work got moody and distant and now i feel as though he has left me completely.I hardly hear from him and it seems that he has no intension of coming to work for my family again. this upsets me as it has upset my family!My boyfriend now seems to draw away from me doesnt hug or kiss me and we dont make love anymore.I dont know what i have done.?I seem to do all the running after him and he doesnt seem to give a crap about me anymore!?Why has he gone like this?What can I do to get the sparkle back as i realy do love him!?Please help!!!I can give more info if helpful!?thanks xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jackie69 +, writes (26 May 2008):
 I hadnt heard from him at all yesterday so I went round to his house.
He was there with a friend but in stead of saying hello he just stared at me! and looked away. I then went because i was so hurt and upset that i cudnt cope with the situation.
He then text " whats up with you?"
I cant believe he doesnt know what is up! I havent heard or seen him in over a week and he wondered what was wrong!?
I have given him space and that hasnt worked.
so then i text and told him that he hadnt bothered with me all week and that i was upset.
He then text me: " Soz, u been in long. I been busy"
to which i said : " if your busy tell me and i know not to worry. ive been in an hour"
Then i got a weird text : "Have i? how did u know?"
To which i said what u on about?"
Then i had no msg.
So i said: " Everyone has to work but it doesnt mean you have to neglect me!"
Then i asked if he would come and talk 2 me and see me! and that he was losing me!"
He just put: "Busy"
So i told him that : " I know whats more important to you now. Not me! Uve lost me"
I have not heard from him since and i am now scared that he is done with me forever!
I dont want to not be with him as I love him soooo much!!
I just dont understand why he has done this to me!?
Somebody please help me talk this through! cus i feel like my heart has torn apart and that i want to die! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): thanks for the good answer rhythymandblues2.So you think that I should leave him alone and let him contact me.?ok.He is 28 and im 22. I was wondering whether it was an age difference problem but i dont think so.I maybe am just coming accross clingy.but i have been very hurt before and i think this is where my insecurities come from!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008): Hmmm, I thought I answered this question, guess I did not say what you wanted to hear, sorry....so I will try again.
You have to start at the place you are right now in this relationship.
He doesn't sound attracted to you, i.e. he won't hug, kiss you or have sex with you and he is emotionally distant.
Your running after him is having the opposite effect, it is turning him off and driving him away.
Do something to attract him, like start dressing up when you have occasion to see him in a dress and some long earrings, let him see your feminine side, no jeans for awhile....Get a life outside of him, find some real friends, and some real interests and don't let him interrupt the things you have scheduled and planned.
This does two things, it makes him see you are interesting and valuable and that you do not revolve your life around him and catching him.....and it gives him the chance to pursue you....guys like the chase from day one until 20 years into marriage, they like to come to you most of the time....so step back and give him some breathing room girl and see if he doesn't come around.
If he doesn't change, he doesn't start showing more interest, then give him his freedom and dump him, you deserve better. I don't think this has much to do with working for your family, except that he may have started to feel as if he was being pressured into being married to you and in the family business...a little too much too soon perhaps.
Good Luck.
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