A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well, my boyfriend recently had a birthday. We have been happily together for over a year and I love him more than anything on the planet. I even moved from Ohio to Hawaii to be with him! Anyway, my boyfriend and I went out with a bunch of his good friends for dinner, and on what I thought was the rid home, (they rented him a limo), the guys in the group surprised us (girlfriends and wives as well) by ending up at the strip club.I have never like strip clubs, I just never saw the appeal, I was so shocked I didn't know what to do. I just followed them in like a lost puppy. The guys immediately took him to get front row and lap dances and what not. I was very uncomfortable, I tried to get my boyfriend to tell him how I felt, but I just gave up.I have always had insecurity problems, I talked with my boyfriend about them, but not too much because I didn't want to come across as the crazy girlfriend. He tells me I am beautiful and pretty and I know he loves me, I just can't understand how he can look at those women and still love me and think I am beautiful. I just don't know what to do. I need advice please!!! OP xo
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (27 May 2012):
 Honestly, I think it was a dumb move to take a birthday boy to the strip club, but wouldn't you RATHER be there when it happened then them going without you, and left you speculation what DID happen?
Talk to him (one-on-one) and explain why you don't like strip-clubs and why you rather he doesn't go in the future. No liking strip club doesn't make you a crazy person. But you also have to remember that TRUST is vital for a relationship. If you can't TRUST him to still love you after looking at strippers is he really someone you want to be with long term? He is an adult. You are not his momma, so while you can say, :" I rather you don't go to strip-clubs" you need to trust that IF he does, that he can be trusted.
But I really wouldn't make more out of this then it was. HE didn't say :" HEY for my birthday I want to go to a strip-club, now did he? " He just tagged along (like you did) and partook in whatever festivities his "bros" had arranged.
Why people have to go ogle women in a strip club (specially in a place like Hawaii that have PLENTY of beaches filled with gorgeous girls in bikinis) is beyond me, but it seems to be the "fad" these days.
What did the other GF's and wives say?)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2012): Sorry to break it up to you but based on his acts, anyone could conclude that your boyfriend DOESN'T love you. You better leave him because you and every woman in this planet deserves some respect. Hello? Bringing you there or even just going there without you displays himself w/ no modesty at all. Moreover, he showed no respect by letting you see how he satisfied himself staring like a pervert at those women in the strip club. I know it'd be too hard for you to leave but please love yourself and get yourself a nice guy who could respect your presence. If you couldn't bear to leave that crazy guy of yours well I hope that you'd at least demand him to compromise and correct his behavior. If he really loves you, he will do that. It's not much to ask.
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