A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello,Me and my girlfriend have been together for over a year (have been friends for years before) now, we went through a rather long rough patch recently, but it seems we managed to hold on together. Everything was good again, but something has happened.Well, me and her work in creative industry. Fields are not related, but still, we have much in common. She is still at university after changing from doing something her parents made her do, so she has been in this transition stage for a long time now. As I am considered talented and ambitious by some, she asks me for my opinion all the time. I feel as her art-director a lot, as I have to guide her. However, she usually decides to argue and take it very personal, instead of understanding that work is work (even though she probably knows that). Today, she sweared at me, because I couldn't tell her how to do something (I personally don't want to tell her exact directions to things, since I want her to progress, develop and not constantly rely on my expertise). I felt that she is disgusted by me and directions I gave her. I am okay with her arguing with me professionally, but her loosing temper with me is getting very personal and disrespectful i.e. she calls me ####### dumb, because she doesn't know how to do something even though I showed her the direction and it is one of those parts she needs to figure it all out by herself (she asks me to draw it for her, which I consider a step too far).Should I continue giving her directions or not? What should I do about this? Did anyone have such experience of mixing work and love?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 May 2012):
 I can totally understand where you are coming from here, and I think you are right, it is okay to direct someone but there is no point in you doing her work for her, and it is really disrespectful off her and immature to throw a tantrum at you for not doing things for her and bringing you down just because you aren't willing to do the work for her.
I think you need to talk to her about this and tell her how she is making you feel. Her behaviour and attitude over this is really not acceptable and you should tell her this. You do your best to guide her and help her but she is taking it for granted.
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