A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I have a problem with my boyfriends dad. He just got out of jail a couple months ago. At first I liked him because I never met him till he got out of jail but now...2 months later...the man drives me crazy. If me or my boyfriend dont pick up the phone when he calls, he'll call 20 times and leave voicemails. He stays in a halfway house downtown and whenever he gets his passes to leave, he calls us. He expects us to pick him up everytime he calls and to drive him around everywhere. We are already having problems keeping gas in the car, let alone having to drive him where ever he pleases. It drives me nuts that my boyfriend wont man up and tell him that we dont have gas everytime he needs a ride. And now, he'll be getting 12 hour passes he thinks he can come over and spend those hours at our house. I dont think so! Please give me some advice on how to stop getting so mad and irritated! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bluecow  +, writes (5 December 2011):
 hmm this is a difficult one.How long was dad in jail for?What sort of running around are we talking about? Grocery shopping, doctor visits OR just visiting friends?Could it be that your boyf LOVES his dad and is trying to build a relationship with him? Or somehow feels its his responsibility to look after him?Your post is not that different from others who have to suddenly deal with and "look after" elderly parents. Have you talked to your boyfriend about this? Is he aware that money is too tight to be able to continue spending so much on gas for his dad?Does your boyf have any other siblings which could be helping out?Could you both compromise? EG: Why not arrange to invite him over for ONE day a week, and whilst he is there do the running around then.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (5 December 2011):
 Print out a copy of this submittal.... and show it to your B/F..... Tell him you wrote it and ask him how does HE suggest that you and he get past this problem????.....
IF he reacts as a REAL B/F should... then you and he will address the problem and solve it....
IF he sez that his Dad is YOUR problem - not his - then you know that you need to get a different B/F....
Good luck....
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