A
female
age
36-40,
*upcake
writes:I had written a post a few weeks ago about my boyfriends ex.. which was.. She emailed me and told me my boyfriend and her had been talking and that they were sleeping together.. I was furious.. Now I didnt believe her because shes been trying everything she can to get him back for the whole year we have been together, she has even hacked into all of his email accounts to try and send me messages from him and she has really just caused alot of problems... Now I did find out that he lied, and that he was talking to her about once a week for 3 months.. I was desvistated knowing he did this to me after all of the problems she has caused.. He sat me down and started to cry and told me yes he had talked to her for about 3 months but that he swears he did not once see her.. and the reason he says he didnt tell me was because he had stopped all contact with her about a month before she told me because he knew it wasnt right to speak with her and he didnt want to hurt me. When I asked the reason they spoke he said she just wanted to be civil and didnt understand why they couldnt be friends, so he claims he agreed to talk to her if she didnt bring up him and her getting back together... he told me she started to talk about how she has changed which was when he put a stop to all contact... Now when she contacted me she told me she was sleeping with him.. him and I live together so since were together all the time I asked her how that was possible, she told me he would go to work early and see her... Which i found strange because his schedules say he works at 7am... So every morning I wake him up at 6, and he leaves at 6:45, I highly doubt he can fit time in to go see her. What bothered me the most was she knew the colour of our bed sheets as she claimed she was there one night in the winter (him and I didnt live together then and she knows that)... now this angered me, considering she said it was the 13th of feburary the next day is valentines day which my boyfriend had given me a $1000 diamond necklace took me out for a fancy dinner and when i walked into the house there were candles and rose pedals everywhere... would someone really go to that extent if they were not serious about you and cheating?? Now alot of my boyfriends old friends are still friends with his ex, she could have got that information about our bed colour from someone if she was trying to get me to believe her. They only dated for 8 months over a year ago.. him and I have what seems like a perfect relationship, we never argue we bought a car together in June and Just bought a house together. Someone who knows her claims that when she found out we were buying a house together she was pissed because he wouldnt do that with her. What I want to know is, should I believe him?? I want to so badly, but since he lied to me about talking to her, it worries me that he would lie about something else to. He claims that he would not have boughten a house with me if he was cheating on me, which makes sence. But its been about 1.5months now since i found all of this out, and iam constantly thinking about it. How do I let this go?? is she just trying to ruien our relationship?? or does it seem like he actually cheated??? Please help, I need piece of mind, were moving into our new house tomorrow and I just want to stop thinking about this.
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female
reader, leanne.od  +, writes (19 September 2007):
 she may just be winding you up, but he's no innocent party. it sounds like he has cheated because the neclace and evrything else could be out fo guilt. men are terrible at hiding guilt, instead they throw money at you to make you happy. she knows things about his bed sheets, if my ex's ex-girlfriend knew that, i'd swing for him and her, although he did cheat on me with his ex. there'll always be the doubt in your mind, because he continued to talk to her without your knowledge wihich planted the seed of doubt in the first place. if he's with you, he should tell her to leave him alone, but instead he talked to her for 3 months like he had too, he made a choice knowing it'd hurt you if you found out. nobody can tell you how your mind works but if you constantly mistrust this guy, you'll push him away anyway so you need to decide if you can out this out of your mind and give him the benefit of the doubt, if the answer is no, i think that you know what you have to do.best of luck
A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (18 September 2007):
She is still trying to get him back. Let him know that you expect him to stop pining about her and stop all contact with her and start treating you as number 1.
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