A
female
age
30-35,
*ager1234
writes:My boyfriend and i have been together happily for about 8 months. however the past couple months havent been so great. when my boyfriend and i first met we both had our own apartments. shortly after we started dating i moved out of my apartment and into a house that my grandmother owns. The house has set empty for about 4 years and is currently being remodled. about 6 months into our relationship my boyfriend moved into the house with me, because he was struggling financially. he soon found out that the house wasnt very "homey", it was adding to his stress. He hated being at the house, and when he was there, at night, he had a hard time sleeping. slowly our relationship started to fade. we werent having sex as often as normal and he didnt seem to be himself all together. He quit hanging out with his friends and didnt want to go out and do anything with me either. he just worked, came home, and went to bed. He always seemed very down and when i would talk to him about his problems he was very negative about everything. To make a long story short, i came home one night to him acting even more out of the ordinary very quiet. we talked and he was worrying me with the way he was acting so i asked if he had ever thought of committing suicide and he said yes and i asked if he thought of how he could do it and he said yes. Long story short, we decided together that he should go live with his dad about 35 minutes away, in a more stable household to get himself back together and out of his depression. Hes been gone for a week now and i have only seen him once. This is a hard transition for me considering i used to see him every day, im trying not to take things personal but im afraid that he doesnt want to be with me anymore. everytime i ask him to get together with me he wont commit to it and doesnt seem interested. i have expressed my feelings to him, and he swears hes not doing it on purpose and he still feels the same about me, what should i do???
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 October 2012):
 I don't think it's the house. I would say that his depression is caused by money troubles. I remember when I was depressed I felt like everything was wrong, the environment, the food, I became hypochodriac until the school nurse asked me if I was depressed I said I was. He doesn't like the feeling of leaning on someone. You are committed to each other. Even when someone is having a down time you should always think of positive things to keep you afloat. Right now he can't do this he is so into himself. You have to be the one keeping the faith, as long as you can wait. He sounds like he needs medication. His moving out is good for you, because his depression is affecting you. However, for him, it's a lose lose situation because he feels that you are rejecting him when you sent him away to his father's, if he stays there he feels like he's dragging you down. The only thing you can do is to stick by him, but if you can be patient , because you don't know how long you have to wait until he gets better and more productive.
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