A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. He enjoys porn alot. I mean alot. At first we had sex frequently and he appeared to enjoy himself. I have always had a high sex drive myself. However, when we were first together he did not finsh, if you know what I mean. He told me not to worry about it, that it happens to him once in a while. I let it go for a while. Then we moved in together and I discovered he watches porn every day, several times a day. I noticed that he did not finish often. I started to think it was me. He told me that sometimes when he finishes by himself he can't later. For obvious reasons this did not make my day. I came to find out later that if he didn't finish with me he would wait for me to go to work and take care of business. I have mixed feelings about this and I am not sure what I should think or how I should feel. I would like to have sex with someone that enjoys me, but by his behavior I can't help but think he would rather just watch porn and leave me lonely and unsatisfied. His lack of "enjoyment" completly turns me off. It makes me not even want to bother. What should I do or think? Does anyone out there have any thoughts on this subject?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2009): hi, i had this problem with my boyfriend and what i done is bought myself some new very sexy lingerie from anne summers and got changed into my new sexy outfit and as soon as he walked in led him to the bedroom and we had the best sex ever. Hope this helps you.
A
male
reader, Yos  +, writes (8 May 2009):
 Simple solution: he needs to either completely cut out or radically cut down on the porn. Your sex life and relationship is more important than his self-gratification. I suggest being crystal clear with him on this, and unflinching.
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A
female
reader, confused-princess  +, writes (8 May 2009):
 i know how you feel, my solution is play him at his own game. it works everytime for me. he gets jealous. x
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy +, writes (8 May 2009):
 There seem to be several issues going on.
You two are having sex, but he doesn't finish and you aren't satisfied. So what the hell are you two doing? Speak plain english, if neither of you climax during sex, no wonder you ain't satisfied.
Porn has a very high "new" factor to it. The women are perfect and always fresh (after all he would pick the porn that exactly suits his tastes). It might be that a real woman to him is not stimulating enough. Reality losing to fantasy could be an issue.
There is also the problem that men often masturbate way to rougly. The penis gets used to it and becomes insensitive to more subtle pressures. This can be solved by him abstaining from masturbating for a while.
You might also know that men last longer after each orgasm. That is not all a blessing, it is in part because you get lesss sensitive. So if he masturbated rougly before he had sex with you, it just might not happen. Leaving you frustrated because part of sex with someone is sharing the orgasm. People forget just how important a part of being together that is. Even if your partner gives you a dozen orgasm if to him/her it just seems work, then something is missing.
He should stop masturbating until he can normally "finish" again with a woman. You ain't a porn-star, you don't get off on a guy finishing off by beating off.
Porn can be an addition to a sex-life but to him it seems to be instead off. That is fine, but if he wants this tight a relation with his porn-collection, then he can't have you as well.
For you, get a clue. This has been going on from the start and you are only now starting to realize this just ain't right?
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A
male
reader, malum424 +, writes (8 May 2009):
 Let me see if I have this right he has sex with you but doesn't climax right? Well it maybe lack of sesitivity in his man bit that stops him from climaxing prolonged masturbation well toughen the skin a the tip of the penis where must of the nerve endings are making it harder for him to climax try asking him to swicht to grape seed oil as it's better for the skin and safe. if this doesn't work then it might be a medical problem.
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A
female
reader, PeanutButter +, writes (8 May 2009):
 You need to talk to him about it asap, he isnt psychic nd neither are you and if you let it go on any longer it is just going to get worse as you decide you dont want sex so he watches more porn and so you have less inclinatin for sex and he watches yet more porn (if thats even possible!).
I dont have a probkem with porn, but my husband doesnt really care for it much so it really doesnt matter, but there are times when im feeling unsatisfied because i feel like im doing all the work, or like the other night, he came to bed and went straight to sleep and left me hanging - i spent 3 hours wide awake and pissed off because i felt so rejected - when i mentioned it to him the next day in passing he was really appollogetic because he just didnt realise that he'd turned me down, i just didnt speak up!
It would seem to me that if you want something you have to shout it from the rooftops or it just goes unheard, i really hope you can talk to your partnerabout this and come to some reconciliation, else you're going to have to leave this guy with his remote control and find someone who is right for your needs.
good luck xxx
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