A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI am 19 years old with 2 young children.I have been dating the father of my children for 3 years now.He cheated on me a few years back but, we made up since then.Now he tells me he has to go work in the same place he cheated on me in,while I was pregnant with our second child.He's not dependent on himself as he has not found a job yet, and drinks alot.Through all the rudeness and lack of communitcation, I have always supported him and his career decisions.He now wants me to move with him and the kids.Is it the right thing to do? wont he take advantage of me once I soley depend on him? I have never lived with him before just with my parents and I was thinking of finnish my school in the city I live in now.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2008): Firstly, as the child of two people divorced I'll tell you it's hard not having a dad growing up. But also, as the child of two people with goo sense I'll tell you even though he's their father. He's not going to provide a good life for them in his current condition. Secondly, Yes, you will become needy and feel more subject to take what ever s*** he throws your way if you move in with him. STAY AT HOME. This boy (I say boy because he can't be a real man not supporting you and cheating) is just going to pull you down. GET YOUR DEGREE, because in the long run your kids are going to need you more then he is. My sister had a baby when she was 19. we (our family) didn't let her quite school. We didn't because we know that if he child's father stops making those payments, all she'll have left is her education to survive on. DON'T QUIT SCHOOL! Thirdly, he's cheating on you most likely. GIRL! Do not be his fool. If he's drinking and LAZY, he's not good enough for you. You moving in is just another way for him to have a cushion to lean back on. I'll tell you what my grandpa told my sisters and I once. "IF THE MAN WON'T GET UP AND GO TO WORK HE'S LAZY." "HE DOSN'T WANT TO WORK." now you living with a lazy man is no example for your children, especially if you have a son. I MEAN, JUST DON'T DO IT!!!!!! Finish school, please. I know it's hard for you since he's the father of your kids, but he's not helping you in any way. I told my sister "YOU'RE better then that." If an adult male can't take care of himself then he sure can't take care of you. You need to leave his sorry butt alone. And stay strong for your kids so they can do well in school and succeed.
A
male
reader, Curles  +, writes (15 November 2008):
 always people try to get what is inconceivably attainable: for instance a cheating partner. my advice is to quit thinking getting back into those things. life's sweet, don't let pp bitter it for u. quit!
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (14 November 2008):
 Finish your schooling first; having an education and the credentials that go with it will help you get the career you want and ultimately it'll help you make more money than if you don't have the credentials. Drop-outs tend not to be high earners. There are exceptions, of course, but this holds true for the most part.
I think it is important for you that you be able to rely on yourself, as sounds a bit unreliable. Drinking too much and being rude and cheating all add up to a lot of drama, which I doubt you and your young children need to be exposed to.
Once he gets his life pulled together, and you have your diploma, I think that is when you can start to make such life-changing moves. That's my opinion, of course. What do the people around you, who love you and care about your future, what do they advise you to do?
If you do move in with him, make sure you have a good amount of savings, so that if things go very badly, you have a way to get out of there.
Good luck!
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