A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I recently found out that my boyfriend is watching porn. Although he always brags about our sex life with one of his best friends. He told him that he doesn't need porn and stuff like that beacause I give him all the pleasure he needs and it made me feel so great. But then a while ago I stayed at his house for a week. During the day when he was at work I played on his laptop... Visiting random websites and stuff coz I was bored and I was looking at the history and I saw all these porn websites. And I saw the times he's watching it and its always late night like he visits me every night till late and we have sex almost every night and try out new stuff and... We both are so satisfied with out sex life. Like he always goes on about how amazing it is and stuff and then when he goes home (right after we had sex) he goes and watches porn. I dnt get it????? Right after we had amazing sex... He goes and watches porn????? And its stuff like "girl solo masturbation" like why ddoes he want to look at another girl... Masturbating??? It hurts me so much..... I just wanna know why he does it??? I've been trying to talk to him about it ... But I know he's just going to snap and ask me why am I looking at his history on the laptop and all that crap??!!! And he's just gonna get mad and we will never get to the point. But ya it makes me feel like not good enough. What should I do??? Can anyone tell me why he would do it?? Watch porn... And I give him every thing he needs.... Ai it makes me sad
View related questions:
at work, best friend, porn, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks so much for all the comments. I think its for the best to just go and have a talk with him. And ask him about it. I think I cnt try and get past the whole porn issue. Like if he watches people having sex and stuff its just when he looks at other girls. Like pleasuring themselves. That just hurts. But thanks so much. When I'm ready.... I'm gonne have the talk with him* and ill let you guys know how it went down =) kinda stressed about it.... But I feel like its the right thing to do otherwise ill never get the answer I want! Xx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2013): himy man watches porn also.. we've been together for almost three years and i only found out he watches it around 8 or 9 months ago. i stay at his most days and i came across it on his laptop. i confronted him about it and he tells me to stop nagging at him and that its completely natural.. maybe it is completely natural but it makes me feel low in myself. i have alopecia (hair loss condition) so i always have to adjust my hair to cover any bald patches that often occur.. he doesn't realise how this makes me feel, that hes watching women with long, flowing hair and hes stuck with me, a girl who takes longer than normal to do her hair because of my condition. we have a healthy sex life so i dont see why he has to watch it. it makes me so angry when i think about it that sometimes i feel like smashing up his laptop! he also makes comments about other women that we see on TV, music videos etc and that also makes me angry. its like he sees women as a piece of meat, but yet aside from the porn and the crude comments about women, we get on so well and he treats me good so i dont really know what to do..i cant make him stop watching it, so i guess the only way is to put it to the back of my mind and to leave it there... however hard that may be! xx
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013): It doesn't reflect on you. At all. Do your best to move on and believe what he's telling you about your sex life.
Even extremely sexually satisfied men will watch porn on occasion. It's just a different, solo aspect of their sensuality. I'm home during the days, and sometimes I get a little horny and watch porn, knowing that I won't get to see my gorgeous man until 10 PM (and he'll usually get some, too ;) ). I'm female. It doesn't reflect on my feelings towards my man, and doesn't affect my sex life. I consider it healthy.
Unless he shows signs of having an addiction (ED, loses interest in you, starts making unfavorable comparisons with porn stars), relax :)
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (3 July 2013):
 he watches it because he does...
maybe he likes it
maybe it's a habit
I do not think it reflects ON YOU or your sex life. his watching porn does not mean you are not enough...
personally if you want to know why HE does it you are going to have to ask HIM... you could easily get past the whole 'why are you looking at my history crap" by starting with
"honey I did a bad thing. I trust you and I know that curiosity killed the cat and I'm sorry if you are angry but I admit to looking at your internet history which was a gross invasion of your privacy and for that I'm truly sorry."
you then add "you have every right to be mad at me for this betrayal and I don't blame you for being angry but I discovered something that makes me feel bad and I want to ask you a couple of questions about it"
and then you go on to say you know this is your own issue and problem but could he tell you WHY he looks at the porn after he leaves you... you may be surprised at his answer.
if at all possible I would NOT ask him not to do it.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013): Yeah, I would be pretty hurt as well. This is something men and women will never see eye to eye on. Men see it as "harmless" and just a tool for masturbation. They feel entitled to it regardless of relationship status. They fail to realize the impact it has on women. The message is out there for women that if we are not sexy and beautiful, we are worthless. So if we know our partners are watching "sexy" women and masturbating, especially right after having sex with us, OF COURSE we're not going to feel we're enough. Think of it this way guys: imagine you just had amazing sex with your partner, only to find out she's been watching videos of other men while pleasuring herself with a dildo that's bigger than your penis. Wouldn't that make you worry you're not good enough, and wonder if she wants a guy with a bigger penis? Sorry, it was the best "equal" I could think of.Anyway, OP I would go ahead and talk to him. You weren't snooping, you just happened to come across it right? When you do it, though, do it in a normal tone of voice. Act like you are only curious. If you get angry, he'll think you're judging him and won't open up to you. Let us know how it goes.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (3 July 2013):
 I have many many links on my profile that may help you out, please take a look at them. They are the ones in the blue box:
http://www.dearcupid.org/people/person12345
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013): For guys, porn is just a natural part of life. He says he is satisfied with your sex life and really there is nothing to say he isn't. The porn isn't about you or what he feels about you. Most guys have a wall between their porn habit and their relationship and see nothing wrong with having both. If it bothers you, talk with him about it but remember it is not personal, just something the guys do.
Now if he is cheating on you with another person, that is a different story.
...............................
|
