A
female
age
30-35,
*tephanie Davis
writes:It was my birthday a few months ago and I had invited my sister, her boyfriend, my cousins and some close friends including my school friend from secondary school to celebrate it with me in a restaurant. Hes a guy and I haven't seen him in years. I've always thought he was gay as in school he would hang around with girls and is quite feminine (I've known him for 10 years but we don't speak that much and we don't meet up). I had briefly mentioned to my boyfriend a few weeks before the day that I had invited him and he was like 'why?' but I wasn't 100% certain sure if he would turn up as he's missed my birthday before. On the night everyone started to arrive to the restaurant. I then got a text from my school friend (the guy) asking me what the name of the restaurant was as he was nearby. I told him but I didnt mention it to my boyfriend. I was holding drinks so i told my boyfriend to hold my phone but the chat message between me and my school friend was still open on my phone so my bf saw that I had told him where the place was. My school friend turned up and my boyfriend was so angry, you could see it in he's face. We all sat down at the table but it was so awkward because my boyfriend was huffing and puffing and was giving my friend the evil eyes and everyone on the table could see it. That was the first time that my cousins had met my boyfriend. I was so embarassed but I hadn't seen my school friend in ages and it was so nice to talk to him and catch up so i ignored it and carried on speaking to my friend. Then my boyfriend said to me "can i have a word with you" so we got up and went around the corner and he said that "I had lied to him because i didn't tell him that he was coming" I was like "look its my birthday and hes my friend who made an effort to come" he also said that it would of been so nice without him like just family. We went back to the table and my boyfriend got a big glass of beer apparently to relax himself and half way through it he was a bit more relaxed but didn't speak once to my school friend. At the end my school friend didn't follow us all to a nearby bar and instead went to meet up with friends in his area. Despite my boyfriend being rude, my school friend said bye to all of us and shaked my boyfriends hand.I dont know if this is relevant but my boyfriends first girlfriend apparently cheated on him for one year and they were together for 4 years, this was many years ago.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 March 2016):
 You should be glad this relationship is over it was not healthy. I know it is hard to get over someone that you love, and yes you are going to find it difficult but you need to start to let go honey. Yes he done a lot of things wrong, and yes you probably did as well. But by reading your posts I don't think it was a good relationship.
What you need to do now is focus on new things in your life. Hang out with friends, do things you enjoy doing and slowly you will get over him.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (11 March 2016):
 Stephanie, you NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED to let your EX BF go!
It seems like you are pulling all kind of stories out your rear to make us aunties tell you what a huge ass he was.
HE IS your EX!! What WE think is NOT as important as what YOU think.
WHO cares if he acted like an ass? Maybe that should have been an indication the FIRST or SECOND time he acted like a controlling BF, that you should have dumped him. But you didn't. And maybe going over WHY you didn't dump him the FIRST time he did so, is a good way to start moving on.
I can tell you exactly what is it that is stopping you from moving on?
YOU!
You are SO incensed that he dumped you when you should have been the "dumper" not the dumpee".
BE GLAD he is out of your life. Spend time with positive people. And when you down the line get to the point where you can accept that YOU dated an asshat and that HE dumped you... then you will know that EVERYONE makes mistakes and that HE was your mistake and that in the future you won't make THAT mistake again.
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A
female
reader, Stephanie Davis +, writes (11 March 2016):
Stephanie Davis is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, no this is my ex boyfriend sorry if I didn't make it clear. I am finding it hard to move on and just wanted to know if how he acted in this situation was unreasonable. I know it's not just him,It takes two to tango! I feel like what i know now I should of known then. Maybe if we had just communicated better then the relationship could have survived but i didn't know what to do at the time which is sad. A prime example of what happens when there is miscommunication but I can't rewind the clock back. Life works in mysterious ways!Aunt honesty- i definetly DID not enjoy when my bf, now ex acted like that around my school friend. My friend made an effort to come to my birthday and it was a nice surprise. I wasn't texting behind he's back, he texted me and I didn't feel it was very important to tell my bf plus I was busy greeting my cousins and so on. I was asking whether i was wrong for not telling my bf straightaway that he had texted me saying he's coming and that he's nearby?I count myself as loyal and I didn't textguys behind my bf's back (now ex) This is an old school mate whom I've known and hanged around with in school who I hardly speak or seen at all. He just came to my birthday.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (11 March 2016):
Well am guessing this is a new boyfriend or else you have got back together with your ex, either way, no it's not good to lie to your boyfriend and hide things from him, especially if you know that this is going to cause drama. You texting boys behind his back is going to make him insecure if he has been cheated on in the past, you should always be honest with each other.
However no I don't think he treated your friend fairly as am sure the poor guy didn't know what the problem was, but to me it sounds like you enjoyed the drama off your boyfriend feeling awkward.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 March 2016):
 This is the ex-boyfriend you’re asking about? Or a new boyfriend?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/was-my-ex-right-for-gettigng-upset-with.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-used-to-tell-him-that-we-should.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/did-my-boyfriend-act-unreasonable-in-this-situation.html
Are you still processing why you broke up with the controlling ex? Or are you now in a new relationship with a new set of problems?
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