A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend was like prince charming. Showed love and care towards me. Now he is cold and won't tell me any of his feeings. He has changed into a stubborn heartless person. But I know he still loves me. How do I get him to be loving towards me again? how do I get him to share his feelings without pressuring him? He acts cold and like he does not care. And this attracts me more in a way because I dont want to lose him. Should I try to be distant aswell? Maybe he may think I dont care anymore and come runnning with his emotions. Any suggestions? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 December 2010): You don't say how long you've dated, but past the honeymoon period I presume. And I assure you what you are seeing now is HIS true colours, no one changes into something they are not.
Which is why it's always a good idea to date someone for a considerable time before committing to anything other than dating.
People are who they are, meaning very few of us can keep the 'fairy tale, prince charming gloss' up for long, as we relax and become used to some, our real personality traits and qualities surface, emerge and we either like the real person, warts and all, or sometimes we may witness a Jekyll and Hyde transformation, where the initial stages of attraction, lust and attempting to make a good impression wears off, as it's terribly difficult to be something your not for very long.
What I find strange, after you say " Now he is cold and won't tell me any of his feeings. He has changed into a stubborn heartless person." you then you know he loves you, and it attracts you more.. Relationships, good relationships are about equal or fairly equal in-put, not one becoming fearful of losing their partner, and start acting the same.
Always the best approach is 'TALK' things through, sit down with him, not in an overly emotional way, and tell him what you feel, how this distance between you in upsetting you. If you don't tell him, he may even presume everything is ok. People/couples don't talk half as much as they should, nor do the tell each other what is affecting them, they would rather go and tell a friend, or even a relative stranger, there partner is not as loving as they once were. The crux of the matter, the best person to face, talk to, is your partner, they hold the key as to why things may have changed.
So that is my advice talk to him and see if you can resolve this, but whatever you do, don't play the same game, it won't help or resolve anything.
Good luck!
Jilly
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