A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a month now. We moved in together very early and are currently living together. We've had some big fights but everything has been calm for a couple months. Then yesterday he started acting different (more quiet) so I asked him what was wrong. He said he wanted a break because he didn't feel the same way about me anymore. He also said that he had fallen out of love with me. He wants to sleep in separate rooms and be as far apart as possible all the time. I feel rejected and horrible. What do I need to do?
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (25 January 2011):
It's very clear what you need to do now. Focus on getting onto your feet financially. This is now your primary goal. Work on getting that job and being able to be self-sufficient so that you can get away from the guy.
Here's the problem. If you allow yourself to dissolve into depression and rejection, you will de-rail your own freedom. Remember, this is not your fault. Be strong. Be really strong.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe lease is in both our names. And I don't have a job right now. He just keeps giving me missed signals.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 January 2011):
Ahh geeze. I'm sorry you feel that way. Listen, I know it's easier said than done, but your boyfriend telling you he wants "a break" isn't about you not being good enough. It could boil down to not being compatible personality-wise. It could boil down to his not being able to let go of a grudge. He could be cheating on you. Either way, you've been set free to find someone else who will NOT reject you.
Why isn't he wanting to move out? Is it financial? Who owns the house/apartment? Is it on both your leases? I think you should break up and one of you should take a hike and find a new place. Can you move out and support yourself?
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A
female
reader, cupidgirl101 +, writes (24 January 2011):
sounds like there may be another woman in the picture, have you noticed anything that would give you that idea? I would suggest trying to talk to him to see if he is willing to do anything to salvage the relationship. Oh one more thing, I would NOT suggest moving in with someone early, no matter how great things seem to be. You really dont know a person ir how you two will be together in my opinion until at least the 1.5-2 yr mark. Ive been w my bf for 2 yrs and we are still growing as a couple and discovering things (good and bad) about eachother and we have not moved in yet. take things slow.
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