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My boyfriend wants to be more adventurous with sex, is he bored already?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 February 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 3 February 2012)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid,

I come to you with a bit of a dilemma, that's been bothering me since last night. I been dating my boyfriend for almost two months. We've been starting to have sex for about three weeks now and it's awesome. But yesterday he send me a text saying he wanted to be more adventurous, which I am totally cool with. So I ask him what he had in mind or anything his been interested in. His response was that he had no idea. So I ask him again and still same answer. I actually felt that maybe he is getting bored with me. I mean, we been having sex for three weeks and he is already mentioning he wants more. I am completely and utterly pleased and happy with our sex life. I am terrified to think that he is already bored. Maybe we started to have sex to early and that's what bored him. I just had a bad experience with my ex, that by the end of the relationship he got bored and completely broken my heart. Maybe I am just exaggerating, hopefully I am. I would love to see what you guys think about this. Thank you very much!

View related questions: my ex, sex life, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2012):

If I were you I'd be more worried about the fact that you had this "talk" by texting! That is not a proper way to communicate about your relationship. You should talk face to face.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (3 February 2012):

Miamine agony auntThe thing with sex and boredom, is people are always tempted to try more and more extreme things, as if weirder and stranger sensations will help things.

Nope, after a while that becomes boring. What is best is always to keep things varied and surprising, and that means also sometimes not having sex at all. Keeps everybody on their toes.

So for a while, it's missionary position, and then no-sex, but you make out and do petting, as if you were young teenagers who aren't allowed to have sex and whose parents may be watching... then maybe no knickers under dress and you and him go out shopping. Sometimes a light touch, sometimes a rough one, sometimes fantasy and role play, sometime romantic with candles.

In this way the guy (and you) never have time to get bored. He never knows who is coming to bed, maybe it's the sex kitten, maybe the shy virgin... whatever it is, you keep him off balance and you keep him interested. He can play too, maybe he's got some ideas, some fantasies which you might like and which you find suitable.

Not wild all the time, remember, that can get boring too. I can promise you, if you take time and concentrate, holding hands and kissing can be mind blowing too.

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A male reader, Honest Answer United States +, writes (3 February 2012):

Honest Answer agony auntQuit over analyzing. He's not bored.

Good Luck!

Jeff

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A male reader, Relationship.Chef United States +, writes (3 February 2012):

Relationship.Chef agony auntIt's a scientific fact.

"Sexual habituation".

In a test environment, a group of 20 female subjects were shown a provocative photograph, while another group of 20 male subjects were shown similar arousing material.

While the female response remained the same as time progressed (measured by dilated pupils, increased heartbeat, etc.), male response decreased.

Men suffer from sexual habituation. As time goes by, their response to sexual stimuli will decrease.

It's not that he's bored with you, but, simply, he's no longer AS aroused by you as he was before.

Trying to re-kindle the passion he's experienced when you first met, he's suggesting that you guys try different things.

Unless some of those things turn you off, I'd say, go with it!

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (3 February 2012):

Maybe since you guys have been having soo often, that maybe it doesnt give him the thrill and excitement that he once had. Such as when a drug user does one drug soo often that he or she doenst get the same high as they used to. Then wants something else to regain that high feeling again. I say have sex less often and he will value it more and it will bring his high feeling back.

Hope this Helped :)

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