A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Iv been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years, we have had our ups and downs but do love each other very much... i think. we broke up about 6 months ago for 3 months. During that time he meet a girl and they became close. I later found out that he HAD feelings for her but did not do anything sexual.The thing that bothers me is the constant txting back and forth between the 2, and he insists that she comes out with us so i can get to know her. i feel extremely paranoid that he may still have feelings for her. I must admit i do get jelous when he is in the presence of female company only becaseu i have been burned before. Help! am i crazy????
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2009): don't make it seem that you care about him because if you do that then he is going to think that he has you in the palms of his hands . i know i am going threw it right now but it hurts and now he wants me back . i tryied getting over him it was hard but i think i have some feelings for some other guy but it going to be hard its not going to be easy at all , i promise you that. just try to keep your mind occupied and busy and cut all communication to him and don't meet this girl because your just going to get hurt . He will soon realize that he made a big mistake . Trust me .sincerly reader
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): Go out with the two of them. And although it will be uncomfortable for you, you can at least get a read on their body language. Then you can get more of a handle on this situation. It is possible that they are just friends and he wants to prove that to you. But as I always say, you have to protect yourself first!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): I believe you should feel this...but this can be good or bad thing....this could be just a good friend to him, and it is a big plus that he did not have any sexual relations with him...trust me, for a guy who is broken up with a girl, then meets another one and has feelings for her, but does not do anything sexually with her, is a huge PLUS...but yet you can never know...but if he is willing to take her with you he is telling you that he does not want anything between you to, and he wants you to know that they are stiull friends.....with the whole texting thing, i really wouldnt like that, he mustunderstand that there are certain boundaries about that, you must be able to talk about this with him exact same thing happened when me and my girlfriend broke up for a little bit, and she was constantly texting this one guy, i talked to her about and she told me it was none of my business, so i broke up with her, i think that the best thing in a relationship is communication, it can determine a whole relationship...me and my girlfriend right now talk about everything, we never leave anything out of each others lives, she knows i have friends that are girls, and i know she has friends that are guys...you guys must talk to each other about these things and you should ask him how you should feel on the subject, and what he would do if you did the same to him...my girlfriend also get really jealous if i talk to a girl, but yet i talk to her about it and we come to an agreement, i think that this would help you...i hope my answer helps you
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): oh.. so not crazy.. Look up paranoia and there's my picture.. It sucks to be uncomfortable in the presence of other females and it's usually due to insecurity, because of what you said, things that have happened in the past. Ask your boyfriend if you can see the texts that they've been sending. If there's nothing wrong with what they're saying then he shouldn't have a problem showing you. I know that i'd be sort of embarrassing to ask him to see his phone, but it could make you feel better and it could make you really upset.. but either way, you're getting the truth. People trust each other until proven guilty but sometimes you have to make a little effort to install that trust.. or in your case, reinstall it. Does he ever try to go out with her without you?I've had friends that i've loved hanging out with too though and had no feelings for. I'd sit him down if i were you, and tell him how you feel. tell him that it's nice tobe back together, but that you can't help be worried about his new friend, because he is giving her so much attention and texting her all the time. Ask him how he would feel if you were constantly texting some guy that you met and had feelings for while you were apart. And i suggest telling him that If he does have feelings for her, now is the chance to come clean, because it's really not fair for me to be dragged around while you can't make up your mind. If he convinces you that there is nothing there and maybe even shows you a few messages, then just appologize for being paranoid and tell him you'll try to be more comfortable about it. Then maybe you can try to hang out with this girl. Who kows.. you could make a new friend as well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): I would deff go out with her and with her and him so I can get a read on it all.
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