A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:He's a middle class white boy whose parents pay for everything including his Mini but he keeps acting like he wants to be the "gangster hood" stereotype and idk it really annoys me for some reason. My parents are also middle class but I was raised differently, is it stupid to stop dating him over this? I've known him since school but he was a massive geek then, played WoW and Starcraft then and cosplayed and was the shy chubby kid, Idk why he changed so much.He keeps on using the b word for women and swearing, wearing a backwards hat and baggy urban wear. He doesn't even have any black friends because we're both white and live in a small town. He also keeps playing explicit rap music off his phone though he's 21 and talking about "shawties" and "booties." And going on about my butt though it's normal sized. I'm not a prude lol the music I like includes that language too but I don't go on about "hot dudes" all the time?I guess I'm also turned off bc he used to do drugs etc. and though he wasn't into crime or something my parents don't approve. Plus he's nice like he pays for everything and pampers me but then he also "acts hard" and sarcastic Idk if he's insecure.Should I stop dating him over this?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (19 October 2017):
 This is who he is, so really it is up to you if you want a boyfriend like him or not. Personally I could not date a guy like this, he would just not be my type at all, if this is who he wants to be then that is who he will be, it is your choice if you want to be his other half.
A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (18 October 2017):
 He sounds like one of the kids on the bus I get regularly that think they're cool- to emphasise "kids"
Yeah 21 is still kindof a kid these days. He's got a lot of maturing to do and will probably form the best template of who he really is at 25/26 yrs or +
Point is do you want to wait around that long for this lost kid to find himself? If so then carry on.
But honestly the main question here is do you RESPECT him? from the way you talk, you clearly disapprove and are annoyed by him- and lack of respect is POISON to any relationship. It won't ever work unless both sides respect each other.
So really think if you respect him enough to put up with him (doesn't sound great in a relationship)
If you're going to be pissed off with him all the time that's just leading to disrespect and resentment.
He doesn't sound like a bad guy and that he's actually quite interesting underneath all the bravado.. so I suggest leave him to it, be friends and if it's meant to be it will happen one day. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2017): ..oh yea
and 21 is REALLY YOUNG. I know it doesn't feel like it, but he is a kid. And once you are over 30 you will see that. lol Good luck sweetie
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2017): This is one of the reasons gangsta rap needs to cease. We become what we listen to often and at that impressionable age I understand his phase.
However, it is dangerous, you should speak to him about this. And tell him how you feel. Tell him you love the real him etc. If that does not help then yes move on and he will grow out of it on his own or it will get the best of him unfortunately.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (17 October 2017):
 He is trying to find his own identity. After having been various characters online and as cosplay, he is now older and needs to figure out WHO he is.
Have you talked to him about it? That you don't like this "wannabe gangster" persona he is being right now? That you miss the REAL him?
Not saying he will change, he probably won't. Why? Because he gets something OUT of this "ridiculous" persona and basically role-playing a character. Except, life isn't a game.
Is he insecure? Probably. He surely doesn't know who he is or IF he is any good. I think deep down he is still that immature chubby geek.
The fact that you are still with him even if he acts like a total twat kind of reinforce that this "wannabe gangster" persona is alright. I BET you he is NOT acting like a prat around his mom, just his peers.
Let's say he is still like this in 2 years, 3... Do you think getting a serious job or career is in the card? Do you think older adults are going to take this toad behavior serious? I can tell you, it's not.
So he will CONTINUE to live off his parents and act like this... How can you even take him seriously?
If this "wannabe gangster" persona is NOt someone YOU see a future with (as he is RIGHT now baggy pants and all) then tell him and stop dating him. Find someone who you CAN see a future with...
And SO WHAT that he pays for you? Seriously! It's his PARENTS who pay for your dates, pay for your gifts... pay for you.
Wake up and smell the coffee.
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