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My boyfriend tries to make me jealous by talking about his female friends!

Tagged as: Friends, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (5 July 2011) 3 Answers - (Newest, 6 July 2011)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

From time to time my boyfriend tries to make me jealous by talking about his female friends. Being a very sociable person he's often out and about with someone or other; to be fair he hangs with the guys more than the girls, but when he's met another woman for a drink or coffee or lunch or whatever he always makes sure to tell me all about it afterwards!

Don't get me wrong, I trust him completely and I don't mind him socialising with other women, on a one-to-one basis or otherwise. That said, I'm not a total fool: "look but don't touch" with no exceptions, and everything's fine. His attitude confuses me though. Would he prefer me to be possessive instead? I thought I was respecting his privacy by not intruding on who he sees, but my apparent lack of envy seems to really trouble him. Of course I can't help feeling slightly squashed - who wouldn't? - when I hear that he's had a lovely time with someone else, especially since we're an LDR so I hardly get to see him myself. But I don't like to mention it. Men need their space, surely? Am I reacting wrongly to this? Any advice would be very much appreciated.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2011):

I agree my bf doenst tell em his interaction with toher girls, but yours he tells u everything

WHICH IS GOOD!!

when he tells you and gives u detail it means he has nothing to hide!...be like oh she sounds lovely!! I would love to meet her! :)

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (6 July 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntI agree it could just be possible that he knows you are a secure person and he feels like he can be honest with you about what he does because he knows you can handle it. It is good that he tells you so that you are not left wondering what he is doing, and good for you for being so secure and confident in the relationship. That deserves credit.

On the other hand though if you are picking up that he doesn't seem happy that he is not getting a reaction out of you maybe it is a case that he thinks you don't care about him at all. Maybe he feels that it wouldn't bother you if he was to cheat and maybe that is what is troubling him. Tell him that you don't mind him meeting up with female friends because you know you can trust him.

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A female reader, RedAthena United States +, writes (5 July 2011):

RedAthena agony auntCould there be a possibility you FEEL jealous, but that is not his intention?

*He is TELLING you about his other interactions.

People who have NOTHING to hide-Hide Nothing.

*You trust him. So, tell him that your trust means you do not envy other women. If he has told you that he is suprised that you do NOT envy who he spends time with-ask him "Im confused, what reaction were you expecting here?"

If he is thinking you should be hurt or dramatic about him spending time with other gals, then he is trying to get your attention and stir up some ugliness-how mature!

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