A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Need help dealing with what happened. I was dating a man for four years with the relationship never progressing or no talk of a future. Finally after 3 1/2 years he proposed but still wouldn't talk about marriage. We dated another six months still he refused to talk about marriage or living together, so I gave him back his ring. In less than 2 months he sold his house and moved in with another woman. It really hurt me to find this out. He contacted me while living with her trying to say he still loved me and she was a mistake. He lived with her over a year and called and asked to see me and convinced me to give him another try. He moved out of her house directly into mine. I've had a hard time dealing with everything and we have been fighting a lot. Three days ago he said how much he loved me and wanted me forever and the next day he moved out and went back to her. I hurt beyond words and any advise of healing anyone could offer would be appreciated. Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2016): I agree with both comments.Just cut him off.My brother is like that. He's a good brother and I love him, but... He's cute, adorable, charming... women love him, while he cannot truely love anyone. I've seen him use his g/fs, have several at the same time, go back and forth between them. And they ALL took him back. They were all left by him and not the other way round.Well, at least for one girl, who was so much younger than him (and healthier than his other gfs) who sat him down and dumped his ass.I do not think that there is anything wrong with you and that you need to repeat the mistake. Thank God there are no children involved. My nephews have suffered so much.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for taking time to respond. I know it is a blessing he is out of my life and the pain will end & I'll know better in the future.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (3 January 2016):
 I think he was seeing her on the side - that is why he didn't want to commit in the first place.
And once he decided that her "grass" was greener he KEPT you around. When he got tired of THAT girl he went back to you and not off to another.
This is a guy who ALWAYS keeps a spare. He gets a new GF before dumping the old, yet tries to maintain contact JUST in case the new one doesn't work out.
Be glad you are DONE with him. BLOCK him from contacting you again and wheeling you back in. He ISN'T a good fit for you and he isn't sure you are for him either THAT is why he keeps a spare. He keeps thinking HE can do "better". Which means he is settling for you when he can't get "better"....
Let him go, mourn the loss and LEARN from this.
YOU can do sooooo much better.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (3 January 2016):
 I think you are dealing with a man who doesn't know what he wants. You have been kept in the dark about what he's doing. He could be dating both of you at the same time. He's bouncing back and forth and secretly enjoying how two women are pining for him. He stays with one woman until there's drama and gets thrown out. Then one of you misses him then takes him back.
If you want to heal you first have to make a firm decision to stay out of his life. Don't get your self esteem all affected by the outcome of any relationship. You come first and your partner should make you happy, not stressed out.
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