A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend, who I've been with since October of 2008 is always talking about how "fat" he is and how much he hates it. I think he's very gorgeous but, to him, he's fat. He's 15 years old, 5'10 and weighs 205 pounds. He's not wide at all, He's just a little built is what I would say. What can I do or say to him to get him to be happy about how he looks? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI did his weight and everything on a BMI calculator and it says he is obese. I don't know what to do because, I mean, it doesn't matter to me how he looks but his health DOES matter to me.
Bibu- I know where you're coming from but, I know for a fact that, that's not why he does it. And I am not annoyed with him, I do like how he looks and yes, I do compliment him but because I WANT to and I love him and what I tell him, I really do think. I don't feel "sorry" for him, and he does not do it just for the compliments. Sorry.
But, besides me trying to make him feel better, how do I actually make him better? He actually was smoking for a while until he seen me cry over it and tell him what I was afraid of, him getting sick, cancer, anything especailly with his weight. I don't want him to think I'm being mean, or trying to say he's too fat for me or anything. I just want to give him the risks of being overweight like he is, and try to make him feel better, and actually get better. He loves to eat, anything and everything and drinks soda and tea, no water. What do I do to help him?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): This is a hard one because he's obviously got something that's bothering him. Instead of trying to talk him out of it maybe suggest you two start working out together. Whether he loses the weight or not maybe it will help him feel better and it never hurts to be physically active and healthy. He is not unhealthy or overweight he's completely normal for his age and everything. I'm going to guess that someone, probably an old girlfriend has said something about him being "fat" and it's stuck in his head, guys have very sensitive egos even though most of them won't admit it and something has gotten him to worry about this. Maybe say things like "I love how big your arms are they wrap around me and make me feel so safe" or "I love how big you are, I feel like I'm with a real man when I'm around you" yah they are cheesy but it might work.
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A
female
reader, Shannon X  +, writes (2 January 2010):
well just keep telling him that he is not fat ! and is he sayin it as a joke.. by what you put 205 pounds ent fat ! :)
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (2 January 2010):
 You can't say or do anything to get him to be happy about how he looks, that's an internal problem he has to fix himself. You can only be supportive of him and tell him that you think he is gorgeous. Encourage him to eat healthy foods, exercise (if his doctor says it's okay) and don't dwell on it. If he is really worried, tell him that he should ask his doctor about it.
Take care!
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