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female
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anonymous
writes: What constitutes cheating? Is going to a strip club cheating? Is being very friendly with the opposite sex cheating? Is being flirtatious cheating? Is touching someone else cheating? Is having a secret crush cheating? Is having sinful thoughts of someone else cheating? Is kissing someone else cheating? My bf and I are trying to come to a middle ground between what is cheating and what is not cheating. He thinks all of the above is not cheating because he hasn't physically had intercourse with anyone and that he comes home to me. Then, my conclusion to his answer is that he can do all of the above as long as he hasn't slept with anyone other than me. Why do I feel that's wrong?
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female
reader, Astrid  +, writes (9 November 2006):
 Ok going to a strip club i not cheatin but getting time away from you both being together to se a prostitute dancin for me is an awafully disrespectful act I would only allow 3 times i'm sorry but I no not want that
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): most of the things u sed are nt cheating but some of them are ask him if hes doin any of them and if he tells u wen lookin in ur eyes he aint liein
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006):
Ahem.
Why did you summerize your bf position as he "thinks anything but FULL SEX isn't cheating"? The implication is that he thinks only intercourse is cheating.
Did you bf actually say that he doesnt think oral, handjobs, anal, boob action are cheating? Because somehow you left that out of your post....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): You can't define what cheating is - it depends on the individual.
Suffice to say, if your boyfriend thinks everything but full sex isn't cheating and you disagree then you're relationship doesn't have much hope, does it?
Shared values and beliefs are what makes a relationship work.
If his views are so different to yours then you really need to re-evaluate things and ask yourself if this guy is really right for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): Oops, for paragraph three, I meant if my female friend hooked her hand under my arm (elbow) as we walk down the street.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): Well I personally think that cheating is when a person betrays the exclusive intimacy shared between the partners. That's the basics of it. This includes penetratives sex, sexual activities shared between another person other than your partner, as well as phone sex, cyber sex, and the like. Mind u, I don't think there is a fine line between things.
Flirting with other women or men wouldn't constitute cheating. This merely can make your partner jealous, and possibly further their insecurities - if any. Kissing can be constituted as cheating, but what is the goal of the kiss? Is it an European-type greeting - a peck on the cheek or on the lips, or is the kiss representated as an intimacy shared between two possible lovers?
If my female friend puts her hand under mine, when we walk down a street, is that considered cheating, if I have a girlfriend? Obviously it may make my gf feel bad, thus I won't allow it, but my female friend may not think that way. Thus there may be a misunderstanding there.
As you might be able to see, my interepretations of cheating does not have a fine line, as some of the physical actions/expressions also can contain whether or not the emotional is an intimate one or just a pure friendly one. Just as I treat some of my female friends like sisters, some of the things they do - even if extremely mild, may come off as a form of physical intimacy that my gf may feel jealous or insecure about. In that case, it is up to the guy to be considerate to his partner and tactfully show maturity in handling the situation.
8]
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A
female
reader, Dani :)  +, writes (8 November 2006):
hi, personally, i think anything physical is cheating (such as kissing, any type of foreplay and intercourse) but i don't really class going to a strip club or flirting as cheating, but is very disrespectful on your behalf if hes doing these things. it sounds like he wants the best of both worlds: to do what he wants with other girls then go home to you. If he has been doing anything but sleeping with other girls, it'l probably be best to get rid of him, as his constant playing away will knock your confidence and self esteem and in the future you may not be able to trust any men. Hope this is some help x :)
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A
female
reader, Astrid +, writes (8 November 2006):
From me all u have mention is absolutely cheating darling you are absolutely right though full sex would be completely crosing the line
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A
male
reader, I Waited For The One +, writes (8 November 2006):
 Going To A Strip Club is not cheating haveing a lap dance maybe classed in some way as cheating as i do but most men don't think it is. being friendly with the other sex is not cheating. being flirtatious as you say with the other sex would class in my eyes has cheating in a kind of way. kissing someone else is cheating no way's about it. your boyfriend is wrong in many ways. your boyfriend thinks as long as it doesn't turn into sex it's not cheating. that's so wrong. ask your self a few question do u think your boyfriend care's about you to me it sound's like he doesn't maybe i'm wrong. i hope i'm wrong but if he want's to touch and kiss other girl's i don't think he does.
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