A
female
age
51-59,
*LOWERPOWER12165
writes: well my problem is lately my boyfriend who lives with me; we have been together a year and he has been mean and hateful to me, pushes me away and has been masturbating to online porn instead of making love to me and i treat him very good i never say no to him if he wants sex, i never yell at him i give him back rubs every time he asks me to never cheated , i respect him highly i tell him i love him i dont understand he does this yelling at me and tell me to leave him alone, he stays on line for days at a time , he has done this lately pushing me away, he says he loves but thats not showing love help me please[Moderator's note: Please don't write in CAPS letters next time!]
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): If you spend a week reading on this board, you will find that you are not the only woman with this problem,unfortunately! I am sorry you are experiencing this , it sounds like your 'man' has had his sexuality highjacked by porn. Go to npsupport.net to get support and advice on what to do.....good luck.
A
female
reader, Intimate Answers +, writes (27 September 2008):
First and foremost you are not alone...
Second of all - If you are giving everything that you can to a relationship - your love, your respect, your time, your energy, your loyalty...etc and it is not being reciprocated then it may be time to rethink your emotional investment. Remember you are 'SPENDING' your TIME with this person. You do not have unlimited time here on earth so it is important for you to make the MOST of it. One person should not have to have to do ALL of the 'heavy lifting' in a relationship.
You seem to respect HIM enough to endure this undeserved treatment of you but you are not respecting YOURSELF enough to do something about it.
Forget the old 50/50 rule in relationships. Each party needs to be committed 100 percent to making the relationship comfortable and worth the effort.
One of my favorite sayings comes from Maya Angelou - she said "When someone shows you who they really are... believe them." If this is who he really is - it is not to be ignored.
Now - it's your turn to love and respect YOURSELF and INVEST your emotions and the time you have been given on this earth more wisely. If you could live forever you'd have time to waste on anything you choose - but none of us do... so do what's right for YOU!
MUCH LOVE AND MANY BLESSINGS!
-INTIMATE ANSWERS
(Let me know how it is going...)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2008): Well the only thing i can think of is that maybe he feels guilty doing what he is doing but can't stop. Maybe he thinks it is wrong for him to look at porn and thinks you do too. You seem to good to him. I know how that feels. You try so hard to be wanted by the person and you do everything but it still isnt good enough. I dont know why that is but you should try to give that to someone that appreciates you. I am trying to do that now. Good luck. My advice is to try and talk to him and find out why he spends so much time online and not with you.
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