A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was 14lbs heavier when I met my boyfriend and I'm losing weight quickly through stress that I'm experiencing at the moment. Well I've always had big boobs and I'm now a uk size 10 and they're 34 e, he doesn't like it because they're getting smaller but I'm not losing weight through choice. He's told me that he would not be with a flat chested person and I'm worried if they get too small he'd dump me. His ex is really overweight and I'm finding it crazy that I'm jealous of bigger women. He was playing with them when we were messing around the other day and suddenly said he was tired so I went to sleep. I woke up to find him masterbating so he couldn't of been tired. He always used to hug me in the mornings in bed but now I wake up and, this sounds rediculous!, but now he puts a pillow in between mine and his face. Its like he's repulsed by me! I feel really down :( would you get upset by this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2013): I'm very short so 14lbs makes loads of difference, but you can definitely see they've gotten smaller. No they aren't flat but because I'm continuing to lose weight he's starting to notice and he doesn't like it. Since I wrote this I've lost another 5lbs. I'm sure I'll put it all back on. I like the way I look at the moment, even though I'd rather not be stressed, but he said he likes me with a bit of a pot on my belly. I think maybe where I'm feeling a bit down its not going to help our sex life. But regardless I've always been happy with the way I look and if he doesn't like it I'd rather not be with a shallow person. He could do with putting some weight on so he's a bit of a hypocrit!
A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (19 February 2013):
 yeah I would be upset by that. but from what you are saying you are still fairly big - breast wise, so I would assume even if you lose more weight they will still be bigger than average. its a difficult one because although two people can love each other, physical attraction is also important and if he really liked something about you he is allowed to miss it now it has gone. doesn't mean he does not care about you.
how do you feel about your body? that is the more important question.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2013): This guy is trying to emotionally blackmail you into gaining weight again. This could either be due to physical preference, or because he thinks other men won't want you as much if you are heavier so you are less likely to leave him. Either way, don't let him bully you into gaining weight. If its just due to stress then there's a chance you'll put it on again once you are feeling better anyway, but I'd be a bit mad that instead of supporting you while you are stressed he is making it worse. I think you should bring it up with him and see what he says. I'd also point out to him that a 34E is not a small breast size.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (19 February 2013):
 Get rid of him. Why would you let someone insult you in that manner. What should be most important is how you feel about the change in body and looks, you need to be comfortable with yourself and he needs to learn to either accept you or move on.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (19 February 2013):
 Hi
It's fine we have physical preferances,things that attract us, but your boyfriend is being downright cruel.He must know your difficulties,that your stressed.
He should be supporting you through this time.Your weight loss proves how it is affecting you.Instead he is behaving like a shallow juvenile and adding to your stress.
Imagine if you were sick, suffered hair loss say - would he care for you or give you a hard time? I would look on this as a wake up call,he is showing his true colours.
Don't let him drag you down,he is the one with issues,not you.
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A
male
reader, eddie85  +, writes (19 February 2013):
 Everybody has different tastes in physical appearance. Most guys are visual and put a higher emphasis on appearance than women (at least so I am told). Some guys like plus-sized women, just like some like thinner women.
It is unfortunately that your boyfriend seems to have chosen your physical appearance over anything else you bring to the relationship table. And your concerns about him losing interest in you are also valid.
His turnabout in attitudes toward you could be a passing phase (he could be tired or going through something) or if you've been under stress it may be transferring over to him. Take a close look at the "vibes" you are putting out and make sure you are still good to him.
However, if this persists, I would bring it up. If he is only in this relationship for your appearance / weight, then I think it is best that you know that fact now, rather than some significant time in the future when you have more emotions and potential property to lose.
We all change in life -- guys lose their hair, we gain / lose weight, we get wrinkles... in other words we change physically. If he only loves you based upon the physical, your relationship is tenuous at best.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (19 February 2013):
 You lost 14 pounds and some breast tissue. I cannot imagine that your boobs went from a 10 to suddenly a 1 or 2; it's simply not possible to have *that* much of a drastic breast tissue decrease. You're a 34 E for God's sake! What is flat chested to him, a double D, or a D cup? A C cup? If he cannot handle the new you, then you're left with one simple decision: do you want to be with someone so shallow?If he continues to behave the way he does each time you loose some weight, what will you do? What if some tragic thing happens in your life and you loose weight again? What if after pregnancy your breast tissue decreases and your boobs get smaller, as is the case with many women? If all he cares about are your boobs and that is the only detrimental thing that keeps his interest in you, you have a big problem.
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