A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Can someone help me please? I don’t know what to do about my boyfriend his been acting different lately like he can’t be bothered to have me as a boyfriend. Let me try to explain this. Well he has loads of friends and that in 6th form and so on and I have only a couple, there has been problems where I been to parties and that and I couldn’t like handle it all with all his friends and him together it was weird I am not used to it and one time I just wanted to go home (we did) erm and his a person that can get rude but lately he has got well rude and his been swearing a lot. I hate it. He says it’s just who he is. He was not that bad when we was 1st dating which was only 3 and half months ago? It’s been 3 and half months and I love him so much. It’s upsetting sometimes that I know his ex dates and that live near him and I live about half hour away by car (have to get train I don’t drive) he has a car though and used to visit me when ever possible but no it seems he can’t be bothered to anymore and I would visit him but hiss parents don’t like him having boyfriends or even the thought of it cause there homophobic (long story). I ask him questions about like have u been to the Mac Ds near you cause I know that’s where his ex works and he say he only works on Saturdays and after he said I don’t trust him and now I have to change my ways and that I feel because I want him to be happy even that means it hurts me sometimes. Am I just an overreacting person? Is it all me? Do I worry to much about all this? I must sound crazy or something I don’t know please help X
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female
reader, Reebe +, writes (29 March 2007):
 Hello
You have only been together a short while, and everyone is always more caring with the other person when you first start going out with someone. As time has gone on maybe he's shown you the real him, and maybe he's not the person you thought he was?
You should never change to please someone else and he won't thank you for it, because he must like the person you are already or he wouldn't be going out with you.
He seems a little frustrated right now with the aggression and swearing, maybe he's thinking about his future, his sexuality, or where he goes from here.
There could be many reasons and ask him if he wants to talk about anything, explain to him how your feeling and if he mocks you maybe he isn't the person you thought he was.
I wouldn't worry about his ex if he wanted to be with him he would be. Try to relax a bit more and try to trust him, even though he's not showing you alot of support right now, I have a feeling you could be a bit clingy?
There's nothing wrong with your bf going out with out you if you don't want to go, but make the effort sometimes to go out and enjoy yourself. Relationships are a 2 way street and no one said they were easy!
Good Luck!
A
female
reader, Midge +, writes (29 March 2007):
 I dont think its all you! Although I am not gay, I have many gay friends. One of which was in a similar situation a few years ago.
In his situation, what it boiled down to was that people at school had commented on his sexuality and it made him uncomfortable with it all. He started shrugging off his current boyfriend at school, kinda saying that he couldnt see him that night, and that he had things to do so they couldnt go out.
His friends were really supportive, but it was the comments and the stigma attached to being gay that he was really having difficulty with possibly because he was 17. People didnt want to be associated with him because of his sexuality. Which is really wrong!
It could be that because he is still relatively young, that he is starting to question his sexuality a little. There is nothing wrong with it, I'm sure in a little while he will be back to his normal self. Also, if you keep questioning him about his ex, it sounds like you dont trust him, and that is not healthy.
Trust him! If his ex is dating then it doesnt seem that you have to worry about him. If he goes to Mac D's its probably just to say hi. I am still in contact with most of my ex's, and so is my current boyfriend in contact with his ex's.
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