My boyfriend says hurtful things, why can't I leave him when I realise I should?

A female age 30-35, *hsoconfused2417 writes:

My Boyfrind is-and I can't say this any more nicely- a complete moron when it comes to trying to express what he's saying. I mean, it's one thing to put his foot in his mouth every once in awhile. We all do it. But it's like he has some sick game where he tries to say the wrong thing to hurt me. I mean, he always says I was his first for everything. Then, he tells me that oh-by-the-way, I could be wrong. Maybe I saw "Bettie's" "la la's" first. Or it could be when I cheated on you with a girl who lived two blocks down. I'm a complete idiot for staying with him. He's cheated. He's lied. He refuses to listen to how I feel. I try to talk about it, I try to forgive him. I try and try and try. And I know I would be so much happier without him. I know that dropping him like the loser he is, is what I need to do. But I can't. We've been dating for a year, I'm sixteen, and of course my freaky teenage mind always trumps my knowledge of what I SHOULD DO. Maybe I think I don't have a choice. Like a commitment or something. All I know is I feel too dependent on him. I need some serious help.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009):

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