A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months now.when we were first an item we would spend so much time together like every weekend, as well as a couple nights during the week. and on weekends i would go over his house and spend time with him and his mates. as i am shy these times were akward at times...so me and my bf have had some really amazing times together like road trips and stuff, weve had a few big fights which were my fault because i lied to him a copule of times but we got through all of that and were as strong as ever.then on the labour day long weekend (roughly around march 1st) i stayed over at my bfs place, his mates came around and we all got pretty drunk, as i said i do get a bit shy around older people as my bf and his mates are a few years older than me, and one of his girl mates satarted saying to me in a jokeing way"speak up"you dont talk much over there"and stuff like that it wasnt mean or anything but ive suffered depression before and she is pretty intimidating, and i am just a really emotionally frail person at times and i felt so imtimidated i got really upset and couldnt control my emotions, so i ended up going to bed and my bfs mates left soon after and we went to sleep. we talked about it the next mornign and were fine but from that weekend my bf has been taking up extra work he started working 7 days a week for a couple of weeks since then so i didnt see him on weekends really just sunday nights and the usual tuesday and thursday nights. then he cut back to working mon-sat and not sundays and i still wasnt able to stay at his because he would be pretty tired from working but id have sundays with him, as of a couple of weeks ago he has only been coming over the couple of days during the week, and i havent seen him on weekends, its been breaking my heart because ive pushed all my friends away to be with him all the time which is bad i know. so we had a talk about it last week and i agreed i missed my friends and wanted to see them more, but still me and my bf have been so distant the last couple of weeks its killing me! :(so last night i was kinda hoping i could spend it with him (last night was a saturday night)but when we spoke he said he was going to his mates for drinks and he didnt invite me (i dont know why but either he wants time with his friends or he didnt want me to be there because of what happened with his girl mate that other night...) so i got a little emotional and sent him txts about how i felt negleted and how i need time with him too and he said he needs his space as well...but all im asking is a weekend with him for once its been over a month since we spent time together and he wont even invite me to his mates places. so i said maybe we can spend tomorrow together (which is now today) but he never replied. i havent heard from him since last night and ive txt him twice today no reply, i even tried ringing. no answer. then i tried later on and he switched his phone off.why is this happenening!?!?!? is it because of the tiff with me and his girl mate or because hes working heaps and wants to spend his spare time with his mates? either way im so confused and alone i dont even have any mates i can turn to right now to talk to, please can someone give me advice or tell me if they have had a time like this with thier bf? thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey guys thanks for ur answers... that whole situation has been fixed but another has come up which is worst then ever... thanks for all ur support ill keep u posted when my new question has past approval. i really need all the suppor i can get seeing i pretty much have no one to turn to right now.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2010): Are you sure his really working that much. I am sorry to tell you this, but maybe his already seeing someone else. Maybe his seeing that girl that was bugging you that night. To me, it seems too confidential that right after this event is when he started to distance himself from you. You need to take care of yourself. Take advantage of this time, to evaluate what you want in life. Is this really the men you want to be with? Does his actions lately and in the past, show that he really cares for you, ect? After you do this, talk to him, in person. If he refuses to meet with you, I think its best you ended. It seems his only keeping you in his life as an option, and not a priority in his life. You deserve better. Take care!
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (11 April 2010):
 Your b/f is piqued at your behaviour and is giving you the silent treatment. He does not want to talk to you and will try to avoid you .
He could also be downgrading your status from top priority to only options.
You need to seek him out and talk to him to iron out any differences.
Apologize to him if you feel that you are in the wrong but do not beg him if he says he wants to end it. Let him go.
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A
female
reader, Lucky786  +, writes (11 April 2010):
 It seems to me that his work schedule has changed and you being clingy is not helping him. He can't change his work schedule and you should understand that. Give him the space he wants. No more texting or calling for a while. Believe me the more you cling on to someone, the faster they run in the opposite direction.
Having said that, looking at this relationship as a whole, I would say that things don't look good. That night when these girl mates were joking around wirh you, your boyfriend should have stepped in, perhaps changed the subject or made a joke as he should have known how uncomfortable this was making you but he didn't.
If the exchange between you and his girl mates HAS caused him to pull away then ask yourself this 'do you really want to be with a guy like that?'
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A
female
reader, arej +, writes (11 April 2010):
im having the same problem but he is just being distant but the thing with me is since he has been distane im starting to like my ex again. :/
i really shouldnt but my boyfriend has just been so inorent toward me i dont really love him anymore.
so if i was you i would have a convo with him says "do we still love each other" and if he looks away i would end it there and then.
Hope this helps. :) good luck. xxx
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