A
female
age
30-35,
*xxvickixxo
writes:My boyfriend who I totally love told me he doesn't feel the same anymore. We were both staying at my house on Friday and we had a small argument because he said it was weird that I had pictures of him beside my bed(there not all him - mostly friends and stuff)He has a photo off me in his room so I dunno why he was being like that but he kept saying it was weird so I ripped them down to shut him up basically, then tried to go to sleep next to him but he kept pushing me away. I asked him what he was being like that for and he said he doesn't love me the same anymore and he's felt like this for the last few weeks. I asked him what's changed and he said nothing he loves me more like his sister now but he doesn't want to split up with me.When he fell asleep I went into the spare room and cried myself to sleep, I cant even think about not being with him.The next day was his best friends 21st and he said he wasn't going out for it but I went and had a great time - he never used to let me out on my own.We also have camping tickets for T in the Park (a festival)and he has decided he doesn't want to go now and that I should go on my own.Do you think I should break up with him? He has been acting really strange and I dont think I can handle this going on for much longer..What should I do?xxxx
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female
reader, WOODALL23  +, writes (23 May 2009):
(Mod note: Truly excellent comment/advice! Please take the caps off! Thanks!)IM GOING THROUGH JUST ABOUT THE SAME THING MY BOYFRIEND JUST HASNT TOLD ME HE DOESNT FEEL THE SAME HE JUST MAKES IT OVIOUS THAT HE ISNT AS HAPPY AS HE USED TO B I THINK MY BOYFRIEND HAS BEEN CHEATING ON ME BECAUSE I HAVE CAUGHT HIM BEFORE AND HE NEVER TRYS TO SLEEP WITH ME ANYMORE I KNOW HE LOVES ME IN A WAY BUT I CANT LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE I NEED ALL OF HIM I HAVE CAUGHT HIM TALKING TO OTHER GIRLS ON THE PHONE BUT HE SAYS IT NOTHING AND HE SAYS HE ACTS DIFFERENT BECAUSE I ACCUSE HIM WHAT DO I DO?
A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (8 July 2008):
 Ok ... Thanks for more informations.I think that he feels "stuck" .. and he feels he dosnt have enough freedom anymore, because you are at his feet 24/7. And you dont mean it in a bad way, I understand - I am the same.I think he needs time off. Maybe you should just cut off the week days. Dont see him during the week, let him be by himself and with his friends and be with him on the weekends. This way you will see if something changed and he got back to normal.Dont listen to your friends. You have to know if he is good enough for you or not! If you love him and you are happy with him and he is not abusing you or doing any kinda bad stuff to you, than you dont have a reason to listen to anyone. Thats their opinion, but its more important what you thinkFor example. My BF is Greek and I am not, all his friends and Family are saying, this wont work to let me go .. and hedoesnt care. He said he loves me and he will marry me greek or no greek. And thats what I mean.Its up to you! Its your life and your BF not your friends ! Soo keep your head up high and try the weeks off and weekends together. I hope it will make a difference. xoxo
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A
female
reader, oxxvickixxo +, writes (8 July 2008):
oxxvickixxo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLIERIN, me and Bryan are like a married couple aswell, I see him everyday after work from about 6pm til 11pm and at the weekend I stay with him from the Friday night till the Sunday night.
We have seen eachother every single day since the first day we met about 2 and a half years ago and I have stayed with him at the weekends for about the past year.
I think that this could be one of the major problems that we are having, we dont have a life without eachother but he is unwilling to let me do anything without him or with my friends.
He is quite controlling in that sense but I do love him so much and I dont want to lose him!! I really dont have a clue about what I should do..
His best friends keep telling me I am too good for him and that he is just going to end up hurting me but at the same time they tell us both that we are like the perfect couple..
I have told his best friend about his behaviour and he said if he knew something was going on he would be one of if not the first person to tell me.
I thought since I first knew him that he liked one of my friends but that kind of disappeared when she started seeing one of his friends but there connection seems to have "came back" and I feel like an idiot when i think what I do but what if there is some reality in what I can see? I dunno if i'm just being paranoid or not..
She always seems to make comments that I know are absolute crap but my boyfriend gets almopst excited by them.. Like she said the other night I cant wait 2 see Kings of Leon at titp when she had told me that she hated them and knows they are one of his favourite bands..
Anyway the google of signs of cheating didnt show up anything really.. there was 1 or 2 little things but nothing to worry about I dont think :)
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A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (7 July 2008):
Well ... it could be the time too ... maybe he just needs more space? How often are you together? And how long you have been in a relationship with this guy?
I see my bf every day and we spend eveyr weeekend together (so its almost like marriage .. haha) .. but none of us has any of signs written above. It maigh have a lil something to do with that too .. but I still think that he is hidding something infront of you .. and it maigh be another girl .. or ... he maigh just want to be alone .. and there is no one else .. but at the same time .. he doesnt wantto be with you ..
But check everything up ... maybe I am totaly wrong
Good luck girl
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A
female
reader, oxxvickixxo +, writes (4 July 2008):
oxxvickixxo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHeya.. Thanks for your advice.. I'm just going to check google just now to see if there is any of the signs!! If there is that's it.. If there's not, I dunno...
I was thinking it might be that we spend too much time together but I don't really know..
I'll let you's know
xxx
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A
female
reader, Jade Harmony +, writes (3 July 2008):
 Hey sweetie! Google "signs of cheating" and see if he's showing those signs. Not that he is, but when they start blowing up at you for stupid reasons and telling you they don't feel that same, those are ultimate red flags. Also, him telling you that he doesn't want to split up and he loves you like a sister could be what people do when they want to keep their current lover on the back burner just in case their new interest and them don't work out. Hopefully, it's not that he's cheating but just make yourself aware of all possibilities. You could talk to him but chances are he won't tell you everything. If I were you, I would declare to myself that I deserve someone who loves me and is passionate about me, not someone that loves me like a sister. If you feel like you can't take it anymore, don't hesitate to break it off with him. You can find someone better or even if you were alone for awhile, you'll be a lot more peaceful without this extra stress/drama. Good Luck! xxxoooxxx
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A
female
reader, LIERIN +, writes (3 July 2008):
I am not sure its a depression. It sounds to me, like he maigh have someone else on the side .. or not even going out with her,just maybe ... he is not into you that much anymore ...
good luck
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A
female
reader, oxxvickixxo +, writes (3 July 2008):
oxxvickixxo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah I understand what you mean and thanks for the advice honestly but the more I think about it the more I cant leave him!!!
My best friend deserted me about 6 months back because a friend of ours had been talking to me on bebo and I said that my best friends boyfriend had a rubbish car(just for a laugh which I explained to him) and the next thing I knew I was getting abusive texts and e-mails etc from her boyfriend and when I said to my friend about this she just said what you talking about Jamie wouldn't do that and when I showed her she accused me of being a liar!! After knowing her 17 years you would have thought she would have believed me over someone she has just met basically.
Anyway since I am not talking to her I basically have no other friends that I could go out with etc as all my other friends are his friends aswell so I'd basically just end up alone :(
x
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (3 July 2008):
 Hi again,
there is little you can do if he is feeling depressed. Tell him to go see a doctor, he needs professional assistance.
But I still stand by my original advice, you deserve better than being controlled by someone, it is not healthy , do you understand that?
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A
female
reader, oxxvickixxo +, writes (3 July 2008):
oxxvickixxo is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHiya, Thanks for your answer. I was just wondering though, What do you mean by "depression?" Like do you think he is depressed because of me or what?He has always came across as a happy person to me and his friends but recently when we have been together he has been saying his life is going to amount to nothing etc and how much he has messed it up, but as soon as someone else comes in he is back to his old self again.I genuinely do not know what to do, I don't want to leave him if he is depressed though...xx
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A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (3 July 2008):
Hi,
well he may be suffering from depression, but it is hard to tell from the little you have said.
I'm sorry to say I have no sympathy for him because of one thing you said: "he never used to let me go out on my own"
I think the best thing for you will be that he doesnt love you anymore and you split up. No boy or man has the right to tell you that you cant go out without him, you are not his possession , he doesnt own you. It is called controlling behaviour.
So count your lucky blessings, and let him go and find someone else to keep on a string and wait at his beck and call. You will meet someone else, someone who does not try and tell you what you can and cant do, that is simply not on. The sooner you realise that the sooner you will be able to have a healthy loving relationship with someone who will respect you and trust you not someone who tries to keep you on a leash.
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