A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i'm a little lost right now and unsure of what to do. My boyfriend of 4 years has started to ignore me. its been a week now and at the beginning i sent him some horrible messages trying to get a response. which, of course i felt horrible for afterwards. i then sent him a message apologising for my actions and nothing - i sent him another the next day asking if we are over to say so but he hasnt replied to that either. He hasnt blocked me on the messaging so i don't know what to think .... if he did i think i'd know it was done and would try to move on. i love him dearly and our relationship has not been perfect but i thought we were perfect for eachother. i am also greiving for a relative and find life quite hard as it is - i know he has had his own stuff going on with his family and other things but not to hear from him this long makes the warning bells go off in my head. i want to be be as happy as i can right now but not having answers from him or closure if needed is not helping. i know he is online talking to others and this was half of our arguments before. we became distant but we always said we'd work on things. i havent contacted him in 4 days now and still he doesnt contact me. i'm just so lost and unsure of what to do - i hope someone can give me some advice.
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (5 August 2014):
 I can't say for sure but I get the feeling that this relationship may be over. Until he gets in contact with you, you will form all sorts of scenarios which will seem to explain why he hasn't spoken to you over the past few days which may or may not be true but as I've said, you will never know until then. Perhaps you should prepare yourself for a possible breakup in case things do lean towards it just to make it a bit easier for yourself to come to terms with should it happen. That's all you can do for now. Until then, good luck OP.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi to all those who responded, thank you for your input. A few of you have asked why don't i just go round to his place and i would but is silence is screaming volumes and i am beginning to get that he needs his space. I am not going to begin to pressure him to be with me, and i definately will not plead for him to stay. I just wanted to try to understand why he would go off the radar the way he has. Especially if he wanted to end it, why not just tell me so? i'm not the type to hassle someone to get back together, it is their choice and i would respect his decision. i think it's the not knowing on top of dealing with my greif that is making me want or need these answers and definately the closure. i guess it is what it is and time will tell. I am definately not trying to take his individuality away from him, i applaud and support the differences in others. i just find it hard to understand to understand the differences sometimes, though i recognise them for exactly what they are, unique people being unique. Thank you again for all of your responses, they have been greatly appreciated.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2014): Perhaps he's really ill or something has happened in his family? No excuse I know but I think you should knock on his door....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2014): Four years seems to be the magic number in the UK.
I would start detaching and healing. I would not wait for closure, I would create my own and just make up my mind to get-over him. You haven't stirred his emotions for over a week. Sounds like it is over to me.
What could he say that would make you feel better, if he is breaking-up with you? Forget the closure. It's just a chance to plead for him to stay. Be kind to yourself. Prepare to move on. You'll resist it, but that prolongs the pain. I've been there.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (5 August 2014):
 So what you're saying s he won't act the way you want him to act.Why should you dictat his actions and responses?Is he supposed to give up all individuality in order to be with you?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (5 August 2014):
 Have you tried just stopping by his home to speak in person?
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