A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I am with my bf for 3 years. We lived one year together after we decided to continue but living in a different places. When I met him he just came to US and all he had were 2 suitcases full of clothes and documents. I said this because last weekend I was at his places when I saw a girl dress on the floor near to the closet so I decided to open the closet and I found a bag with some girl stuff and a huge picture of a girl and also I found pieces of hair in a small paper bag.. When I saw all that I smelled and it smells old like it has been enclosed in that bag for years but I have not idea who is this.. I got furious because this is not first time I caught him in lies and most all I always forgive him and we continue but after This I think he is a serious lier. I proceed to ask what is all that and he was speechless and only told me please do not touch this stuff and he took it from my hand I said why!!!?? He told me that girl is dead and he likes to keep that with him.. I honestly didn't believe a word and I started to cry and I left the place. Why is someone is dead you will keep it as a secret? Why would you hide that bag for 3 years? I said hiding because when we lived together he didn't have it. Then he said one of his friends took care of that bag while he was with me??!! Why? According to him because this bag was full of documents and some clothes that he didn't need it... I don't know .. I wish I can believe it but I don't. I need help.. If I am with a guy for 3 years I think I won't have any problem telling him that my first love or whatever died and I have some stuff of him that I keep it as a memory ... But he didn't do it like that,, he hide it from me.. Why??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2016): Seriously if you was really worried and scared for your life you wouldnt be messaging on here ! everyone is saying what they would do but deep down if you didnt ask for advice what would you do ??? do you worry for your safety ????? if you do then go to the police as the other person who said get a background check . Id say ask him questions if he refuses to answer them then personally id say ' its not going to work out ' i wouldnt shout also id just tell him to jog on
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (4 August 2016):
 OP, you have every agony aunt telling you to not make excuses for him and to just get the heck away! Whether he is a violent person or not, this behaviour is not normal and shows that he isn't trustworthy and very creepy, at best. The worst has already been mentioned, so please do *not* stick around and cut all contact with him. Move in with family, change your number and call the police if he doesn't leave you alone. He is not to be considered safe to be around.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (4 August 2016):
 Im sorry, but any man who keeps a locket of a womans hair in a paper bag is unbelievably creepy. I wouldn't even be worried about the threat of him cheating. What I would be afraid of is it being your hair in a paper bag next. That is not normal under any circumstances.
I really would take a strand of that hair to be tested for any missing persons. I'm not kidding. Not at all. There is something incredibly alarming going on here.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2016): This is the thing. He's from Turkey. That's stuff came with him from Turkey. I just don't believe it she is dead. Maybe she is still there and he is here with me but in the deep of his heart she is the one ...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2016): Alarm bells are ringing and with good reason!
Now that you are potentially with a killer you need to protect yourself.
Consider yourselves no longer a couple!
Throw a complete wobbler over the phone or by text claiming he's been cheating on you, having an affair and hiding the other womens clothes and a locket of her hair so that you didnt know about it.
Then he has the audacity to pretend she is dead!
Use a righteously agrieved Beyonce like tone as you terminate your 'relationship'!
Then contact the police, dropping his name address and your worst suspicions about how the deceased may have fallen!
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (4 August 2016):
 Id be taking a piece of that hair to the cops for missing persons DNA cross matching and high tail it out of there. Bizarre stuff.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 August 2016):
 I'm so glad llifton said that! because THAT was my FIRST impression... OH shit the guy is a serial killer!
But that doesn't mean he is...
I DO however find the excuse ridiculous. If he knew and dated someone who's clothes and locks of hairs he own, WHY not tell you about it? I'd be suspicious too, if for no other reason because doubt would creep in and make me ask.... what ELSE have he been hiding from me?
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (3 August 2016):
I'm completely with llifton. I don't trust him and lying only makes it creepier.
I strongly suggest breaking up and having no more contact with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2016): You could ask him calmly to sit down and talk with you . You explain to him you have found it strange hes keeping stuff like the hair and it makes you feel uncomfortable .You could say to him , to move forward in the relationship he needs to be more open and talk about stuff , would he please talk about this girlfriend who died and that you want him to talk so you can understand him better , just start basic questions like her first name and how many years ago did this woman die , how long he was with her , eventually he might open up more but be prepared for him to say no hes not talking about her. you must remain calm no shouting and if he wont open up then say - how is this relationship going to move forward if you dont talk to me . Some people find keeping hair and other personal things from someone has died but alot of people do keep stuff like that its a way to keep hold of that person like a comfort thing he might find it hard to open up and talk about her. If you think along the same lines as llifton you can always do a background check on the guy your seeing if you have serious concern see if hes got a criminal record
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2016): Ask him if she died of natural causes and if not I have two words for you. Ted Bundy!
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (3 August 2016):
Ummmmm... I can't be the only one who finds this incredibly strange. I'm a bit alarmed. He has her hair in a small paper bag?? That is some serial killer stuff to me. Like taking trophies from his victims. I don't know. I could he wrong. But wow, that makes me uncomfortable.
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