A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am so devastated, I am not sure what to think or what happened. I have been with my boyfriend for two years, we are the same age, we both have children (no children together) but out of the blue.... he broke up with me. I asked for a reason he had none. He couldn't give me one. He has been working a lot we don't have time for each other like we used to but we were both still happy when we did. He told me he needed space so I am now staying at my mom's. I went to talk about things to him the other day I felt our conversation went well about what may be causing this but he still wants space. I am not sure if he wants me back or what? He hugged me and gave me a kiss and said he loved me. I am not sure what is going through his mind right now? Is he afraid of commitment? Or thinking of seeing other people? I am not sure if this is worth the hurt and heart ache I even going through. I don't even know if I should begin to get over him or wait in anticipation for answers. He said it was nothing I did and swears up and down. I feel so heavy hearted and heart broken all I do is cry and think about him. I don't know if I should try and talk to him or let him be awhile. Please help a lost, broken hearted women. I feel there is no way I can go on like this. I have never loved and cared for someone like this in my entire life what do I do?
View related questions:
broke up Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (5 May 2014):
 I can promise you it's NOTHING YOU DID... this is on him.
he may not actually have a concrete reason but he has his reasons, whether it's someone new or he just can't put his finger on it, he knows you are not the one for him.
cut all contact. permit yourself 6 weeks of full blown mourning and obsessing... then it's time to move on and get up and out again.... not necessarily dating but being out there and active with friends.
going no contact will be the best thing for you...it's easier to heal without the constant salt in the wound of thinking "he talked to me maybe there is hope"
let him go.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (3 May 2014):
There is a reason. You didn't do anything wrong, but if you two were compatible he would probably still be with you. Obviously he doesn't feel like you're a good match.
I'd cease all contact like previously suggested. It'll help you get over him, and it may have the side effect of causing him to want to get back with you.
...............................
A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (3 May 2014):
 Sadly I am agreeing with those who feel he has met somebody else, and is too cowardly to tell you.
Its time to dry your tears and start working on rebuilding your life again, focus on your children, find some work, and find somewhere to live.
If you believe you are owed anything material from the relationship you had, start lining up your ducks in a row, because if there is a new woman on the scene she will make sure you don't get anything, if you have belongings (I assume you were living together because you have moved back to Mom's) at the place where he is, make arrangements to get them as soon as possible.
If I am wrong and those who say he has retreated into his 'man cave' are correct, if he sees you moving on and making plans for your future, without him in it, it could be the impetus needed to get him out of the man cave.
Either way, its time to start thinking about your future and that of your kids.
Good Luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2014): I had a bf of 2 years who split with me and could also give no reason. Turns out he already had another girlfriend.
Give him his space and while doing so, detach from him and move on as best you can.
...............................
A
female
reader, Foot-In-My-Mouth  +, writes (3 May 2014):
 I agree with the female anon too. I also think that he's inconsiderate about your feelings and you might want to think whether you really want him back. People don't do this to people they love, you know. But anyway, don't show the fact that you're hurting. Cut all contact immediately and avoid him. He'll probably come running. Let us know, though. Be brave.
...............................
A
male
reader, methuselah  +, writes (3 May 2014):
Hello,
Yes, as previously said. Your man has gone into his 'cave.'
Leave him, wait, wait. I believe he will be in touch. Do not contact in any shape or form. Best wishes.
...............................
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (3 May 2014):
 Completely agree with female anon.
I can't say why he did this. Only you can take a stab at that based on what he told you during your talk. But you MUST go no contact from this point on. If you attempt to communicate with him, you will most likely lose him. You need to give him exactly what he's asking for and just disappear for a while. Let him miss you and come to you. And he may just come back. Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 May 2014): When a man wants space you give him exactly that and more. If you want him back you have to stop all communication with him. Do not contact him AT ALL. In any form whatsoever. Do not call, do not text, do not comment on social media, and do not like any pictures.
He WILL and I mean WILL come back. He thinks he wants space right now. Absence speaks loudly. Once he feels your absence he will come back. And when he does, let him be the one to contact you for a while and do not initiate communication but sound happy to hear from him.
This is no game, it is the human mind. Do as I recommend and you guys will be back together. Contact him and risk losing the relationship for good.
...............................
|
