A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok my boyfriend of 3 years never wants to do anything with my group of friends, it always has to be his. For example tonight, we were invited to a NYE party with my friends weeks ago but he has been hesitating about going to it. I have asked him what he would rather do and he said he didn't know, but he didn't really want to go to this party because he won't know many people. I know all of his friends pretty well because I make the effort with them, but he doesn't seem to think he should do the same back. He has now said he wants to go to the local snooker club for NYE, incase any of his mates decide to go there (they have no definite plans yet). I feel kind of sad that he'd rather sit somewhere on the off chance he sees someone he knows instead of going to a party with me. I could maybe understand if he had big plans with his friends but he doesnt. Our last few new years I have spent with his friends and I feel like it's my turn. He thinks we should find something we both want to do or go out separately which I also think is sad. This is not the first time this has been an issue either and I'm starting to get sick of his selfishness. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (31 December 2012):
 He's either stuck up his mate's arses, has social anxiety, or doesn't like your friends.
I can understand him not wanting to be around your friends if he cannot particularly stand them. It's not like they're family where he would have to tolerate them.
Anyways, if he feels it's more important to spend NYE with his mates..then let him. You don't want to force him to spend time with you on NYE doing what you want to do. The night won't be very much fun. Cut out the drama now, and go have fun with your mates. I wouldn't call him the next few days and let him apologize for his lack of compromise.
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (31 December 2012):
 Hi
You should have just told him you were going to your friends party and would see him next year.At least you would have had a good time
Theres no law saying you should spend NYE together.
He's not going to change now so if its a dealbreaker - finish it.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (31 December 2012):
 go to the party with your friends by yourself and meet a new guy.
and tell your soon to be ex that's he's soon to be an ex if he can't manage to spend time doing things you want too.
my hubby and I split movies this way. we see what he wants then we see what i want... relationships are all about compromise.
he may have a touch of social anxiety but that's no excuse for not making the effort.
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