A
female
age
36-40,
*cjones
writes:hello i have been trying to find someone i can talk to and hopefully get some advice, i am 23years old been in a relationship for 6years i have 2 children aged 4 and 2, and nobady seems to believe you only have to have sex once to get pregnant well take it from me girlies you can. What the problem is, is that my partner never wants sex and i mean we have gone 6months before and then when we finally do its when i am giving him oral and then he just jumps on top to finish off it is so boring but to top it off he never does anything to me i mean nothing, i have brought this up to him and whenever i do he goes off shouting and storms off, i dont believe he is seeing anyone else, because he is always with me and when he isn't he is always on the phone. if you can could you please give me some advice on what i can do because i am boiling up inside, i feel like its fault i think in my head and aloud "am i to fat?" "does he not fancie me?" "am i boring?", the thing is i am none of these well i think im not anyway but thats what i am made to feel like please help what can i do to change this situation? thankyou nikki Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ncjones +, writes (28 September 2007):
ncjones is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi everyone i have just read your replys thankyou, but just to clarify things in more detail... my b/f is 38 and divorced so he isn't young and he also wants more kids (he only has the 2 with me) and i just dont no how without having sex and thats another thing i now feel stupid to say to him "why do we never make love" but instead i say why do we never have sex coz that is all it is to me because there is no passion. im just getting to the point where i think is this it.... a few months ago we went to the trafford centre and in to annsummers there was loads of people in there with there partners choosing vibraters and dressing up clothes together and my b/f just stood there with a face on him like he really didn't want to be there so we just left. im so sick of the way i feel its all take, take, take with him and no giving i just want that bit of attention. i have been offered by loads of people if i fancy going out and blokes saying what they would like to do with me(which is very cheeky and im taken)im just really struggling with what to do because i do really love him. nikki
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (27 September 2007):
 It could be a number of things, your b/f perhaps is feeling the stress of being so young and raising two young children. You've been together long enough that perhaps he's a little bored, or afraid there will be another little bundle of joy that comes along if you have sex too often. I don't know how the rest of your relationship is, but maybe it's time for a little romance. Plan one night a week where the two of you can be alone, no sex expected. Send the kids to a babysitters, plan a nice dinner, or go out and see a movie. Dress nice. Wear perfume, fix your hair and make-up, show a little clevage or a little leg to spark his interest, but don't dress as though you're trying to get the attention of other men, that will defeat the whole purpose. Talk about adult things, movies, books, dream vacations. Perhaps once you guys start doing things as a "couple" again he will see you in a more sexual way. Lots of young parents fall into the trap of child-rearing and their romance gets suffocated in the process. After doing this for awhile (it may take a couple of months) he may start feeling more frisky with you and want to have sex. Try some different positions, try different things in bed so he can't continue the same pattern. Show don't tell. Guide his hand where you want it to go and make "hmmmm" sounds, so he knows he's doing it right. It could be that he has very little knowledge about how to please a woman in bed so he just gets mad, rather than admit he hasn't a clue. Tell him when he does something good, don't be afraid to talk a little dirty and moan. And be patient. It may take him awhile to learn how to make love like an intereted partner. I wish you the best.
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A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (27 September 2007):
 there has to be reasons he's not having sex with you and his lack of wanting to resolve it, from an outside perspective, leads me to believe he might be getting it elsewhere? without wanting to set alarm bells ringing, no man i know goes without it, and he has no interest in pleasing you.
you may have bruoght this issue up before but you need to sort it out. don't give him any until he tells you what is wrong, you deserve an answer before loosing your sanity.
best of luck
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