A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been together for over one year and we are both in our early 20's. About 3 months ago, I was dinking around on his computer and I found a site with t-girl porn (men qo view themselves, and live, as women). I asked him about the site and he told me about his secret. He almost always watches t-girl porn when he masturbates and very rarely watches anything with women in it. Occasionally he'll look at gay porn, but he doesn't care for it. Since then, I've talked with him about it and he has told me that he has been with 2 tranny's a few years ago so I know it's not just a phase. I am now left feeling that I am not what he really wants but instead a worthy stand in because he can't have what he wants and be accepted by society or whatever. He has told me that he does want to be with me and the tranny thing is purely sexual. He masturbates almost every day and we have sex about 4 times a week. I was just wondering if anyone has any input that might help me feel more... I don't even know the word... confident I guess... Thanks for the input
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male
reader, RU Wild +, writes (7 June 2011):
I can fully understand why you feel the way you do. Your situation would certainly put doubts in your mind. Here's my point of view for what it's worth. I'm a husband that not only looks at shemales, but also writes fictional stories about them for a site called literotica. I've never been with a T-Girl, but I find the possibility of a beautiful woman taking such complete control of me to be intoxicating. If my wife could pop a pill and grow a penis for the weekend I would be in heaven and throw my computer out the window. My wife is not interested in play acting or anything that has to do with pretending she has a penis, but has done it a few times in our 25 years together because she loves me. Your husband may be like me and his greatest fantasy is to have you be strong and take him and make him yours. A nice strap-on is a small expense to explore his fantasies. I can't speak for all guys, but for this one and the ones that send feedback about my stories, having a woman make love to us like that is submissive heaven. You two are young, explore both your fantasies and revel in the pleasure you bring to each other. Sorry I'm three years late with this response.
A
female
reader, Janai +, writes (6 January 2011):
I am in the exact same situation....my boyfriend says that he loves me and that it is just what he jacks off to but i don't believe it. I mean, it is one thing to walk in on your bf jacking off to "regular" or lesbian porn, but then to see a "homophobic" tuff man jack off to trannies so something totally different. I feel as if I am just something to cover things up because he doesn't want to face with reality. I love him, but I don't want to get hurt. I don't want for us to get married and 5-10 years later he tell me he fell in love with a transexual.. I can't handle it. Is he gay?
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A
female
reader, vanessa-tgirl +, writes (24 March 2010):
"Tranny" porn is almost never done by real trannies. It's done by gay men who get boob jobs, facial surgery, and grow their hair long. After their career is over, they have the implants removed, cut their hair, and have surgery to return their faces back to how they were. Real transwomen usually cannot get and don't want, erections. Anyone who is taking hormones knows how hard it is to actually do anything sexual with the ah... male anatomy.
I would know. I'm a real transsexual. I consider myself a woman and the men who are attracted to me as straight and the women who are attracted to me as lesbian, whether they know I'm trans or not. If your boyfriend is attracted to pre-op transsexuals that doesn't make him gay at all; he's still straight, even if it is a bit odd. Most straight transwomen would not be thrilled if a guy wanted her only because she hadn't had the opportunity to have her male parts replaced with the ones she should have been born with. Some might, but most do not.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2009): I must admit I find it reassuring to find your posts. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and found out about his "interests" about 6 months ago when he left a lot of interesting history on my computer. To start with I was shocked and it took me a long time to deal with it. I monitored the situation by checking his computer log about once a week, and I discoved that he visits those sites about once a week. Now and again he will download new pictures and stuff and recently I felt able to confront him about it. He was a little embarrased especially when I made it clear I had known about it for a while. We had a brief chat about it and I have the same fears as you both about him hiding his sexuality and not really wanting me especially since he is quite homophobic, and you know what they say about men who are homophobic...
I try to understand my boyfriends desires and my understanding currently is linked with his desire to be dominated, which he has never hidden. I suppose the fantasy of a relationship with a shemale (I have even learnt the internet term) is as dominated as it can get.
Finally, I don't suppose it ultimatly matters how open minded you are sexually since if his desires lie elsewhere he may stray anyway, but I have accepted his preferences in that department and have experimented with him to explore his fantasies with me. All I can say is it has enriched our sex life and we are closer. But of course I am not saying do anything you aren't comftable with.
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A
female
reader, Dayna_in_Calif. +, writes (10 January 2009):
 Hi Sweety.. I just want you to know that you're not alone. I'm 41 and going through the exact same thing. I came here for some advise because he won't talk to me about it. I know how you feel.. I'm feeling a bit insecure too, even though I know there's nothing I've done to cause it and there's nothing I can do to change it.. I sort of feel like I've been his "prop" for the past 2 yrs. To make his friends and family view him as straight. My conclusion to the whole thing so far is that there are levels of fantasies and how far they're willing to go. Some men claim to like shemales for their beauty and dont put an emphasis on the male parts. My boyfriend was into the "other parts" this is the main thing he foused on and talked about and was turned on by... I conclude from this that he's gay.. Im not happy about it but what can I do? It also can be dangerous. There's an article in here about a similar situation in which the husband has contracted HIV and given it to his wife. His dirty little secret is eventually going to leave their kids as orphans. The ultimate selfish act.!! So sad.
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A
female
reader, taina1980 +, writes (18 December 2008):
some men a fasinated by a man that looks like a beautiful woman... I think this may be way deeper than any of us can assume...i mean I get turned on by lesbian porn but I'm not gay... I have a friend who is gay & had sex with a tranny female because he saw her as a good looking man not for his or her vagina... people are in to diffrent...dont take offense to it its just a fantasy, twisted maybe but still a fantasy...
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A
male
reader, askJAY  +, writes (17 December 2008):
 gosh. hectic.
shame, what a situation. i'm sure he has issues LOL.
sorry you have to feel that way, but i wish you could leave him actually. you don't deserve that.
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